Special Guest Expert - Brett Parry: Video automatically transcribed by Sonix

Special Guest Expert - Brett Parry: this eJwdjstOwzAQRX8lmgWr0Dz7IFKFqIQQCFBFBRWryLInwdSOjT1uiKr-e5Nu55577pyAm46wo5oGi1DBA8QgO0-s41hLAVVRpKusLLMYePBkdPDorkG-yBblPI-BcW7CaLjSq7t5toyhkahE3TE9ORupcNQeeuZaD9UJglPj-YfI-ipJ-r6ftca0CpmVfsaNToSTR0yOeTJVfZK9bL7Z79L6r3QXDln_9rd9H573H40u8NWIfXrPFK01CsluvAmO41qYvlOGic9xKgaSpKZPdha5ZCp6Cugpevy36Ci6jTYOiaItc24Y4cY4zWiktS3hfL4A_R9h_A:1nn16f:8TN-StcP2OF2Bv7LVNSTQUPLlaM video file was automatically transcribed by Sonix with the best speech-to-text algorithms. This transcript may contain errors.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
Here's the big question. How is it that most entrepreneurs hustle and are always busy and struggle to take just one step forward, only to fall two steps back their dedicated, determined and driven, but only a few finally break through and win. This show uncovers those quantum leap patterns of highly successful people so you can simply model what they do and apply to your future success. That's the question. And the answers are right here. My name is Bridget Russell and this is the Success Pattern Show. And that is right. Welcome and happy Tuesday, everyone. This is the success pattern show. My name is Brigitta Hoeferle where we put the do in learn do teach. I'm the founder of the Success Pattern Movement and the CEO of the Center of NLP. And can we agree that when we hear success that our thoughts can go in different directions? Because success is an interesting thing, shapes its meaning within each individual success seeker. It's not limited to either business or personal life because success is this unique concept. And here in the success pattern show, we give you the scaffolding to build your own empire. With this show, we are decoding the patterns that led to success of our guest experts. So you can then encode your own success today, because as humans were hardwired for hands on application by a living teacher, we're not theoreticians as they just walk. They just talk a good game. We're grandmasters at work here, and we're going to go through tips on how to model success. And people ask me, we're quite a success pattern. What is that? Well, the definition of pattern is an example for others to follow. That's where the scaffolding comes in and we give you that. So one of the laws of success that we teach is all about success can be modeled. It is the expert modeling, and that's where our guest experts come in. Success is already yours. Stay tuned. At the end of the show, we have a very special gift for you so you can have a guideline and a reminder of the laws of success. Today is a great, incredible show because I like to say that at every show.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
And today, actually, I really mean it. No, I'm kidding. I made it every time. And today is an incredible an incredible show with a beautiful person that comes all the way from Australia. He is going to bring us value as he's reflecting on how limiting beliefs. Can make us resist. Knowledge and understanding of others that are not like us and that are not like us could be culture, religion, identity. And it when we are aware of that, we can actually are able to grow. And when we when we can learn from the differences that makes us, we can continue to grow. And it gives us the ability to grow not just in one area, but in all areas of life. As I said, our guest expert is all the way from Australia. He lives here in the US now. He has a deep faith in the ability of the curious mind to navigate expanding global horizons. What that means, we're going to find out later. He believes the skills to do this can be taught with compassion, knowledge and action, all with an intentional, intentional plan to achieve high level personal and professional outcomes. He's a cross-cultural consultant and facilitator, a speaker, mentor and coach, a friend of mine. And I don't say this lightly. As founder of the Cultural Mentor, he leads global networks of committed cultural facilitators that teach the value of understanding cultural gaps and how to bridge them. So if you're not in the car and you're sitting at your desk, I ask you to stand up. And with a big welcome, help me. Welcome, Mr. Brett Parry. Welcome, welcome, welcome. How are ya?

Brett Parry:
How are you? I want people to stand up in the car. What's wrong with that? Don't people do.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
That? No, that's too much paperwork. But we're not going to do that.

Brett Parry:
No problem. Thank you, Regina. That is what? A what an what an intro. I mean, how am I ever going to live up to all that?

Brigitta Hoeferle:
Oh, you will. Easy, easy. Don't be so humble. Now, come on. I'm so I'm so grateful that you're here for with the success pattern show and that you're about to bring a ton of nuggets. And you and I just seen each other this past weekend here in Atlanta. And I'm so grateful that we get to spend time together because, guys, if you have not met Brett in person or just virtually, you've got to meet him because he's a he's fun, he's a wealth of knowledge. He's got a funny accent. He's going to say, wait, wait, who has an accent?

Brett Parry:
Has the accent.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
So Brett, did you I mean, coming from coming from Australia, being married not to an American, having a daughter that's going to a school where it's not necessarily an all American school. Right. She's continuing to learn her mother tongue as well. Have you always been fascinated and interested of how to cross cultures?

Brett Parry:
Absolutely. And because I grew up in a country that right to this current day, 3% of the people in the country are not born in Australia. It literally hurt the whole. A third of the population is not born in the country and I'm not sure how true that was or what that level was back when I was growing up. But still, our whole life was surrounded by people with different accents languages, food, cultures, and it was just fascinating to me. I think it really in the mindset of a lot of Australians because we do learn a lot about the rest of the world through our education that kind of plants the seed and then we go through our lives with a longing, a wanderlust about the rest of the world. It's a it's a the result of that is that a lot of Australians do travel the world. We have the flexibility, the margin in our in our professional lives, whether we've just got a job or a career or a business, we tend to give ourselves that margin so we we can even push our little boat off the shore on a regular basis and see the world.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
Yeah, and I love that. I've never been to Australia myself. I hear that the insects are rather large, so I'm not sure if I want to encounter that or not. But the, the fascination and the continuous growth and ever never ceasing hunger to learn and to explore. How are you passing that on to your daughter?

Brett Parry:
Well, you might you might say now she's 12 and she's almost a teenager. It's like with a lot of rolled eyes, but and it's like culture again, daddy. But it's it is really it's been a part of her life. I mean, I tell people, look at them, look at the difference between my upbringing and hers. I did not fly on an airplane until I was 15 years of age. She was a frequent flier with United before she was one. This is a this is a contrast in her upbringing that is just one of the one of the aspects. She speaks two languages fluently, like a native English and Polish. She's been to 14, 15 countries, is a citizen of three countries. Whether I'm passing on anything specific, I'm not sure I need to. Just that whole set of circumstances in our lives and our day to day living is a part of just what is making her person, you know, and I and I think that it is fascinating to me, it's a privilege I want. I think the only thing I would say to her is that never forget that that is a privilege. All that all those circumstances in and of themselves, you you have gratitude for it. You have a gratitude for the opportunity to do it, live it, and pass it on to hopefully to her children and her grandchildren as well.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
Yes. Oh, my gosh. Yes, I agree. What a privilege. And, you know, she'll she'll outgrow that time that she's about to go into and then she'll come out and go, Who am I glad that you guys stuck it out with me now. I'm you know, let's let's let's go into the future real quick and look back. She's going to go. Thank you, daddy, for being a role model. Who's your role model, Brit?

Brett Parry:
Ben Zander. It's not a name that really comes to mind for most people, unless you're in the classical music realm. And of course, I'm a musician, so I kind of have this and but I discovered Ben Zander. He's the conductor currently of the Boston Philharmonic, is a German German speaking Brit, you know, with. But really, he talks about his journey of arriving at the age of 45 and just the reality that he stood in front of a group of musicians. And when it came to the popularity or the promotion of the music itself, it was always his picture on the CD. He was the one that really was given the recognition, but he realized that his power was only dependent on his ability to give and draw power out of the people that were in front of him. And that is the musicians. And I apply that to everything in my life. I say, No, no, no way can I stand up to his standards as far as a conductor. But I see myself as a conductor, whether I'm with clients, whether I'm with my family. My power is my ability to bring out the best in them, to bring out the power that they can offer the world. And that is and the way that they bring all the different instruments they bring, which can be different for different cultures, is the way that I encourage them to think about their life. They they cannot play like a tuba on its own will drive, you know, crazy. Anybody who has lived in a house with somebody learning a violin will tell you this, right? Our little cherubs, even if they're not musically inclined, the schools will give them a recorder to send home. I'm sure it's a it's some secret kind of conspiracy that schools do to take to families.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
To keep parents humble.

Brett Parry:
That's right. But when you put them together, when you put them together and they all use their different sounds and rhythm patterns and unique identity in an orchestra, it makes for a symphony. And there is no better way to live your life. But if you do it on your own, it becomes very lonely, it becomes very isolating. And it's just not fun and it's not free.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
Yeah. And I wonder if there is a if if this is also an analogy of the training that you do because you clearly you're being brought in by large organizations to to do what? Share with.

Brett Parry:
Us. Well, I'm oftentimes I'm asked to come in and just I guess they ask me to come in to teach about cultures in terms of their their curiosity, to know about particular culture that they might be working with or interacting with, or even in the case of expats, going to. Yeah. And what they of course, I take a step back and say, well, none of this matters until you know yourself. Until you get some self awareness, understand yourself. Look at yourself in the mirror and say What makes you tick? What are the valuable and valued things that bring you to the to this planet as a as a human being? And then we're going to pattern how what are the contrasts or similarities? And and that's what they pay me to do. They they they get me in to say, what are the, what are the strategies, what are the real return on investments that we need to exercise when we're working with these wonderful people all around the world so that we become the very best organization, the very best group, the very best nonprofit, the very best individuals we can be in those situations. And, you know, I'm just so again, I get back to this whole thing of gratitude and privilege. I really have to pinch myself to this day that I how did I get into this? How did I manage to be able to live this wonderful life of meeting, interacting with and and just learning from my clients as much as I think I can pass on, knowledge is an important strategy in all that process.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
Oh, I love what you just said, and I want to go deeper into that learning from your clients. So you're there, you're being paid to teach your client something or a full group of of people, and yet you're getting something out of it. That's a unique concept. Well, for some people, it might be unique. And I want to learn more about that. What are you getting out of when you teach?

Brett Parry:
Well, I'm getting knowledge that is in the aspect of their life experience. Everybody is unique. Everybody I get to work with. I could work with ten different Irish people or ten different Polish people and ten different German people, and I can see different patterns in their particular lives and they have a certain worldview, a certain perspective of the of the world and their interaction with it. And I make mental notes actually. A lot of times I simply I'm just not smart enough to remember all this. So I have to make physical notes. I write this down, I leave the sessions and I have to stop and I have to center myself. And I have to write down the wonderful learnings and the generous giving that they've shared with me during these sessions. And I tell them this, I, you know, I say no pressure, but I'm here to learn just as much as I am to pass on none of this matters unless I am willing to humble myself at your feet and say, I do not know everything. I am a your servant and I am here to draw on your experiences, to make it relevant for the situation you're going into.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
That's a true leader speaking right now. Will you will you finish the sentence for me? Leaders are.

Brett Parry:
Detectives.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
Detectives? How so?

Brett Parry:
They just they're constantly questioning evidence. They're looking at the same evidence that will present itself in multiple situations. But then being able to say, well, that doesn't mean I attribute a certain amount of guilt or innocence to either the right or wrongs of this. The this is just guessing. Where can I look? Where can I be curious? Where can I be inquisitive? What type of questions can I ask? What are the most important questions to gather? The very best evidence that I can then bring to the prosecutor in this case, the prosecutor being the people that are around us, the people that have to take action. Right. And and give that up to them in in to offer them the most informed way to go forward in making their case, their personal case to the world. That's what it is. They're you're giving them the tools to say, I'm going to turn up as much as valuable as I can to present my case to the world, why I am a culturally competent leader, servant, colleague, parent, teacher, whatever it is you want to be in life, that's the key.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
If you could earlier we travel in the into the future if we would travel to the past now what resource or what knowledge would you take with you from right now and bring it back to the younger Brett.

Brett Parry:
What it would be an earlier I'd do this work a lot earlier. I would have just completely got into it. But maybe I have to temper that by saying I probably didn't have the emotional. I guess, sophistication to be able to look at it through a very wide lens and an empathetic lens. So when you're younger, I think it's more difficult. That's why I think it's more it was more difficult for me because I grew up in a very kind of monocultural surrounding in terms of my family, but I was surrounded by culture, but I didn't really take advantage of that early learning. It was there and I loved it. But there were certain, certainly so many other lessons I could have taken from it. So constantly learning, which hopefully it's what I encourage with. I talk to my and my daughter's teachers and I talk to other teachers and I say, you know, we can teach math and we can teach language and we teach science and we can teach history. But adding culture, adding that kind of aspect to a student's rounded education will give them the opportunity that I wish I had when I was that age.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
Yeah, me too. Absolutely. Absolutely. The work that you do is unique. Well, not necessarily unique to me, because you and Christian work side by side in the same area of expertize. And yet it is so necessary. I find it. I find it. I want to say interesting, but I'm looking for a much heavier word for that. I find it flabbergasting that not more organizations are investing in bringing you and Christian and the work that you guys do in to to educate people that are crossing cultures, to educate organizations that are crossing cultures, to to assist expats. Why do you think that is?

Brett Parry:
You know, it's just I don't think it's a fault. It is just an understanding or assumption that we're humans. And if we just all look at life through Maslow's hierarchy of needs, then we satisfy those as an organization or as a parent or as a as a partner, a life partner. Then that's all that we need. And and it's much deeper than that there, of course. So it's only that. And of course, if Christians watching this, I'll say the word soft skills and they'll probably I'm glad I'm not close to him because he'll swing at me. Of course, they think it's a soft skill. But you know, and I learned this from Christian is to reframe that this is not a soft skill. This is a this is a skill that is well needed. It's a power skill. Power skill. It is it gives you an edge to be able to navigate, interact, react in the right way to cultures, people, people. And I'm just not talking about country cultures. We're not we're talking about people who pray differently, people who love differently, people who speak differently, people who look different. Right. This this relieves so much of the amygdala response of fear in our lives. And I call it basically tearing down the bars of the prison of ignorance. And it is I was very honored recently to be asked to come and speak at my daughter's school. And her social studies teacher said to me, said to the students in front of me, said, I think Mr. Parry is really an ambassador of peace, because really, isn't this in a in a classroom full of people, kids that a lot of them had parents that weren't born in this country? If we could just understand each other and respect each other with from all our backgrounds, we wouldn't really wouldn't have got conflict, you know, we wouldn't have misunderstanding. All would be left would be the joy of interaction and connection. And that's that's true freedom. And I and it's hard to explain to somebody who doesn't want to be curious about people around them and free themselves because it is I've seen people I've helped people in my family that are in that prison. And I and I love them and I wish for them that they would they would be able to break down those bars. But I know how difficult that is. I understand it. I'm empathetic to it. I'm not accusatory of it. I just hope maybe one day I can lead them out of their.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
Ambassador for peace. I shall have a new name for you. I like that. I like that. What? Out of all of the things and you speak to so many things with enthusiasm, out of all of the things, what really makes you jump out of bed in the morning?

Brett Parry:
Well, you know, when I was younger, it was those damn spiders in Australia. You know, they you get one of those in your field of vision and you get out of bed really quick.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
Oh, my God. Are they really that big?

Brett Parry:
Tiny. About the size of your hand. Look, they're very furry and cuddly, trust me. But it is just the initial reaction to them that might make you jump out of bed. But nowadays. Nowadays, it's just life. It's life. You know, I am so blessed. I get out. I'm married to you know, you've seen my my wife, one of the most beautiful women on the face of the planet. And and, you know, has forgotten more languages than I'll ever speak, you know, and deeply passionate and and a great mother. And, of course, just in my house to get out of bed and and walk past and just kiss that beautiful woman on the cheek is a privilege. So that's good. That's a great start. And then the rest of it is just getting out and doing what I do. Like, it's so I'm so humbled to be able to meet and interact with people I do from. Org. I mean, you just, you turn up to somebody and they say, well, you know, the other day, like, I'm, I'm my mother was Lebanese and my father was French, but I grew up in Austria. So I speak, you know, I speak German and I speak I speak Arabic and I speak French and I speak English. And it's like if you walk past these people in the street, you probably would not even think of the depth of sophistication and knowledge and things that you could mine from their mind and their experiences. And that's what I and oftentimes those people walk through life and they don't even realize the depth of what they can pass on to either their children, their parents, their their partners, their their teachers, their business colleagues. And that's kind of I think an exciting for me is if I can get them to realize it's not about me telling them, it's about them. It's in them already. It's in everybody. It's about me. It's like it's like the Ben's getting back to Ben Zander, right? Mining that power. The power is there. You just have to get it out. Right. And it's just fascinating. I love it.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
I'm curious and I don't know about this, but I'm about to ask you, is there have you written a book yet? And if not, is there a book in you?

Brett Parry:
I say there's a book and everyone I you know, I've tried to write. I love writing. I think English was one of my early passions in my life. And I and you know, when I say not the language, the the act of writing, the expression of it, I'm a musician. I love the expressiveness of music. I probably would be faster to write a song that I would be to write a book. But look, it's something that's on my mind. And it's not that I think that it would be particularly interesting or groundbreaking or from any other perspective of anybody else that's got what to say. But I've learned that really my voice is just as important as anybody else. And and there might be one or two people in the world that might just like to hear my story and my perspective and my encouragement for them to go out and do what I do, because the world is an abundant place. And and I want people to do my work. I want them to come into this field of work and understand just how enriching and and personally profitable it can be in terms of the the mindset, the, the, the knowledge. It is a it's just so valuable. Yeah.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
And I'm pretty sure that over the course of, I don't know how many it must be thousands and thousands of, of clients and customers that you have served over the years and they all have this. You just told a story of one person over a half a minute and that was already rich. The richness of the people that you get to encounter with, the richness of the stories of the people that you get to hear and how they have crossed cultures and what they have learned and experienced and been challenged over the years. I had Luca from Italy on our show not long ago, and he's crossed cultures from Italy to China and then from China to Atlanta and then from Atlanta to the West Coast. So there were progressions of changing in cultures as well. And his son learned to eat all sorts of things in China when he was a small kid where I would say, Wow, really? And the kid still loves it to this day. I mean, very exotic things. So there's there's there's richness in stories. And back in the days, we would just sit around a fireplace or or a fire, not even a fireplace, but a fire and tell those stories. Nowadays, we just don't have that anymore. So a book would be beautiful.

Brett Parry:
Yeah, you know, maybe. Maybe it will. Yeah, maybe we could do that for sure. Well, I encourage, you know, I encourage people even. Those mining, those stories in the people that you interact with every day. And not to just walk past and assume that somebody has a particular identity because of the way they look or the way they sound. You know, they're just asking questions as long as it is from a true heart of seriousness. Most people are not intimidated by that. It is it is a really generous way to start building relationships and and again, getting back to that whole detective ideas. Right. It's about it's about really gathering the evidence of what what is the best way for me to work with you, interact with you that values me, values you. And also the some of the some of our are better than our parts, right? So yeah.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
Yeah, I agree. I have a I have one burning question that I want to ask you before we leave. What is the number one key to success for you? And what is a habit or a ritual that you use to get to that?

Brett Parry:
I think open mindedness. And it can be a it can be a negative as well as a positive. And I'm not sure I've I've really wrangled with the good balance, but I'm I do admit that I'm a shiny penny guy. So when somebody puts something in front of me that I find fascinating, it's like chasing I'm the cat chasing the laser pointer. But you know what? It's done. It's it's actually really brought me to some wonderful opportunities in my life. And it maybe it takes me a long time to see that something is not as enriching for me as it could be, and I probably spend more time on it than I should. But you know what? Even in that there is a lesson, even in that there is a lesson to say, Well, okay, I will understand that when I start to feel like I probably felt like a year ago, then maybe it's time to move on and now concentrate on the things that really make me tick.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
Yeah, that's a really good pattern to have. Taking inventory. Yeah, that's beautiful. Brett, you're such a fascinating guy, and I get to reach out to you any time I want. I mean, I have you literally on speed dial if I want to, but how do people get in touch with you?

Brett Parry:
Oh, well, you know, I try to I try to be as active as I possibly can on the social platforms, Facebook and Twitter when I can to get some time. Or usually I'm drawn drawn to that by other people's posts. They're certainly LinkedIn. I love LinkedIn. I've discovered LinkedIn is a really wonderful way of connecting. There is another great site and I often direct my clients to it and that is intonations dot org. And that's a kind of a, I call it a mix between Facebook and and LinkedIn. So not only is it enriching from the social part of it, but it's also enriching from the professional side, but not kind of dug in on either of one of those. So if you see me on intonations, you can reach out and be, you know, make a connection there. And of course that starts groups and all those kind of things. But that's, you know, the main the main things and of course, you know, just any, you know, cultural mentor dot com just, you know, send me an email. I'm more than happy to have discussions. Just regular coffee chats with anybody because you bet I'm going to start asking you questions. I'm going to find things out about you that no doubt. Yeah, I love it. It's just part of the process.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
So yeah. And within that process you might learn one or two very unique Australian words. I bet you will.

Brett Parry:
You absolutely will, mate. No worries at all, buddy. Art, you'll get it. You'll get a fade, you'll get a fair dinkum chat out of me, that's for sure.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
Mike So guys, get with Brett Parry on LinkedIn, on intonation, stalk on Facebook, you see it right here, Facebook.com/CulturalMentor, get with him, you're going to find him. He's the only Aussie guy out there that's named Brett Parry, so he's really easy to find. He's really easy to talk to. He doesn't bite. He's not like the the fuzzy creatures that are that he talked about in his bed. So get with Brett. Brett, thank you for taking the time to be here with us on The Success Pattern Show. I really, really appreciate you being here.

Brett Parry:
I appreciate your Brigette is so wonderful and I can't wait to see you again in person. We can cook some more meat and drink some more beer.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
Let's do it.

Brett Parry:
I love it.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
Thanks. Thank you so much for being here. And guys, tune in again next week for more success patterns and for another great guest expert here on the Success Pattern Show. Thanks for tuning in. Thank you for tuning in to the Success Pattern Show at www.TheSuccessPatternShow.com, my name is Brigitta Hoeferle.

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