Special Guest Expert - Brigitta Hoeferle: Video automatically transcribed by Sonix

Special Guest Expert - Brigitta Hoeferle: this mp4 video file was automatically transcribed by Sonix with the best speech-to-text algorithms. This transcript may contain errors.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
Here's the big question. How is it that most entrepreneurs hustle and are always busy and struggle to take just one step forward, only to fall two steps back their dedicated, determined and driven, but only a few finally break through and win? This show uncovers those quantum leap patterns of highly successful people so you can simply model what they do and apply to your future success. That's the question. And the answers are right here. My name is Brigitta Hoeferle and this is the Success Patterns Show. And you are right here at the right time at the right place. Welcome. Happy Tuesday to the Success Patterns Show with Brigitta Hoeferle. I am the CEO of the Center of NLP and I am honored and excited that I am here with you today. I am again broadcasting from our new training center. So you are still hearing somewhat of an echo. We've been working on it, know that it's never going to be perfect and we're constantly working on becoming better and giving you the best quality of show that we can give you. And it's not about the content. It's not about the echo. It's about the context. It is about what we are delivering to you. And those are success patterns now. How you do anything is how you do everything right. And life throws things at you at any given moment and then you deal with them. We had an incredible guest expert today scheduled and she needed to be with her family. That is first priority. So I said, no worries, you take care of your family. We are doing an incredible show today as we are going to look at what our success patterns like. So many people come to me and say, Brigitta, okay, I get it. Success patterns. But really, what's the success pattern? Great question. So today I am your guest expert. I'm somewhat interviewing myself. Really not. But I have a lot of great value for you today. I have a lot of great information that you can then immediately implement in your own life. So why success patterns when we know? That there is a sequence and we all do things in sequence in some sort of fashion.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
Then when we know what we are doing, in which sequence we can actually do it intentionally. A lot of people have asked me throughout my career and my success, Brigida, how do you do that? And I go, How do I do what? Because when you're so in it and you're doing it and it's, it's like you're factory settings and you're just doing it and it's serving you awesome. But there's a problem with that. Because when you're doing it and you're doing it by your factory settings, then you're not aware of it. It's just intuitively you're doing it, but you're not doing it intentionally. Now, when you know what the sequence is, what the pattern is, what the strategy is, what it where does it start and how does it end, and what do you want it to end with and what do you want the result to be? That's where it becomes intentional. And I want to go into that today, as so many people are asking, NLP is the science of success neuro linguistic programing. As you already see over my shoulder here, neuro linguistic programing is the signs of success. Now, before I go into NLP, what is NLP? Right, let's decipher it really quick. For those of you that don't know what NLP stands for and l. P. Neuro linguistic programing. Neuro Brain. You're where your thoughts originate, where your memories and your experiences live, where you are. It's your motherboard. It's where everything originates. Without that, nothing would work. Not the inner nor the outer. And we need the inner to work. So the outer does work. So that's the neuro part. Linguistic, your communication is key and your communication, although I'm pointing to somewhat at my mouth. Communication is not the words that you speak. It is mostly the things that you don't say. Have you ever been in a situation where you thought, I think I need to tell my face separately to shut up right now? Right. I know you've been there. I see you out there because I know I've I am I have been there and I continue to be there. And the more aware you are of it, the more intentional you can communicate with your body language.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
Have you ever watched, like professional poker and some professional poker players? Not all of them, but some professional poker players were goggles because we are giving information out if we like it or not. And those minimal cues through our eyes, through our muscle, twitches, through our mouth is not in our control. So the more you are aware of it that that's what's happening in those poker players that are wearing the goggles, are aware that they're giving out information subconsciously, but not intentionally at all. Right. They don't have control over that. So that's the linguistic part. I want to say one last thing to the linguistic part. Albert Moravian, put communication when it's in high emotional state, may be high emotional, sad, happy, joyful, elated, whatever the emotion may be. So in a high emotional state, our communication drops basically to three elements words tonality, body language. Now is a trick question because I basically already gave you the answer. Which of those three is the most important you think? And you're welcome to put it in the comments. You're welcome to chat it here on the success pattern. Show words, tonality, body language. Yeah, you're right. It's body language. Per Moravian, it's 55% of our communication. Hello? 55%. If you're not doing it intentionally, if you're not communicating with your body with you're not with your minimal cues, with your nonverbal communication, then now is a really good time to start learning about that. And you're welcome to reach out to me and I'll give you some hints and some some some tips. Now is a good time to start. How do you communicate with your body? How do you communicate with your nonverbal cues? So that's the biggest part. Body language. Tonality is actually the second most important is how are we in which tonality are we speaking? And the pitch and the cadence and the volume, are we just speaking more in a monotone voice or are we going up and down and all over the place with our tonality? That also brings a lot of information. And then the last one is words. Words per Moravian, are only 7%. Now, here's the good news and the bad news, because when we write like social media posts on LinkedIn or on Facebook or God knows where, or you write copy for your website, or you write an article and you are not hitting on the value coded language and on the learning styles of people, and you only write it in your own.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
I'm going to call it style, but it's a lot more than a style. It's your it's your your word catalog, your your value word catalog. What do you value most? What do your readers value most? It's in four categories, and I'm not going to go into that today, but that would make a great show all together. And so that's that's one part of the word catalog. And the other part of the word catalog is the representational system. Are you only a very visual person? And therefore you write and majority of your words are very visual words or are they are you very kinesthetic, touchy feely person you write in that style? So there are different styles in representational systems as well. But if you're only hitting it on one in the value coded system and on one of the representational systems, you're missing 90% of all of the other styles that people speak. That means that you're leaving your potential client completely out in your communication, your Facebook post and your copy and your emails and your website and your whatever other written communication you're communicating in. And there's even I'm going to put a little bit more fuel to the fire. The. Tonality piece, of course, is missing. The body language piece is missing in only written language, but the person that reads your article, Facebook posts, website copy puts in their own tonality. So think about that. How does it come across? I work with some people that think sarcasm is a great thing to put in their emails or in their website copy. Sarcasm does not travel in written words. I'm going to say that again. Sarcasm does not travel in written words. You must be able to see, hear and listen to the tonality and see the person as they're as they're being sarcastic. I'm not saying don't be sarcastic. I can be sarcastic any moment of my life. That was sarcasm altogether. But you've got to be able to hear it, the tonality, the context that the sarcasm is in. So anyway, I'm going off on a tangent here, but you get the point of words are powerful, but only if you actually hit the right words of your target market that you want to reach out to.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
So that's the communication, that's the linguistic part of NLP. The last part is the programing part. A lot of people, when they hear programing, they're like, Oh no, I do not like to be programed. Well, yes, this is not about you being programed because quite frankly, guys, newsflash, you already all are programed TV program advertisement stop signs. Anything that your teacher, your religious leader, your mom, dad, family members, siblings have said, your boss, your partner, your business partner, your personal, your your your romantic partner. All of those experiences, people that you surround yourself with have an influence on you and you are programed by them if you like it or not. And when you become aware of what's the program, you are running the whole pattern of the program and then evaluate is that serving me or is it not serving me? Like really look at the pattern, but you can only look at the pattern when you're aware of, oh, wait a minute, there actually is there is a program that I'm running. Oh, wait a minute. There actually is a success pattern that I have or wait a minute, I actually am recognizing a pattern of something that I do over and over and over again. And I want to get to that specific result, but I don't get to that specific result because something in that pattern is no longer serving you. So that's the whole idea of the success pattern show. We have great guest guest experts on this show every week and next week I have another great guest expert, so we're going to talk about that in a little bit. But I want to and I want to share with you a few. A few. Bits and pieces of a success pattern. Actually, I want to give you one full success pattern. So we already established that NLP is the law of success or brings the laws of success. And I want to talk about the formula of life mastery today. The formula of life mastery does not only include business. When people hear success, they often think money and business success can be anything in any area that you want it to be. You can apply this in your personal life.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
You can apply this in your romantic relationship, in a platonic relationship with yourself, in anything that you do. So there are six steps to this success formula of life mastery. And I would highly encourage you to really grab something to write on and write with really quick so you can shot this down. The first one is know what you are aiming for, know your outcome. Have any of you ever gone ax throwing? Like, it's like I call it darts on steroids used to we just threw darts at a target. Now we're taking big axes and throwing them at a target. Now, imagine for the ones that have never heard about ax throwing, this is literally like an ax that you would get at a Ace Hardware or Home Depot or Lowe's, like something that you would chop a tree down with. So it's a it's a it's an ax and you have a big wooden target. And there, of course, are walls on the left and right. And the goal is for you to throw that ax into the inner circle of the target. That's the goal, like darts on steroids. Imagine people going around with their make believe ax in their hand through life because they don't know what they want. They don't know what their outcome is, they don't know what they're aiming for. And they just go, Hmm, where am I going to throw this ax today? Let me see if it sticks here or let me see if I can throw it over here. And people really go through life like that. I know. It's crazy. It's mind boggling. So no. What is it that you're aiming for? Because just like the X, it can be, you can hurt yourself, you can hurt someone else and do a lot of damage. So know what you want, know your well formed outcome and state it in a positive if you are stuck in all the things that you don't want. Well, that's that's a great start. Write that down. And then on the other side, on the piece of paper, write down what is on the opposite side of what you don't want. Like, I don't want to eat chocolate anymore.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
Okay? As long as you're focusing on this is a command, don't eat chocolate. All all the human brain hears is eat chocolate. It's a command. It's a direct command. Eat chocolate. Don't touch the hot stove. Touch the hot stove. Direct command. So what is it that you want to do rather than eating chocolate? Every time I think about chocolate from here on forward, I'm going to take a glass of water or to speak from when I was a kid. I really like chocolate like a lot. And my mom said, instead of eating chocolate, why don't you eat pickles? And I like pickles. So I bought me a big jar full of pickles. And every time I was craving chocolate, I ate some pickles. So know your outcome. Take action. No, wait, take intentional action. Know which next steps to take and they take them. Now, don't take 500 steps or don't think you need to take 500 steps at a time. That's not what I'm saying. Take intentional action one step at a time. Be aware of what's going on in your neuro and your mental state and your emotions. Remember, neuro is the first part of NLP. Be aware of what's going on between your ears. Be aware of which mental state you're in. Be aware of your emotions. If you're going in to sign a big deal with a client and you're in a crappy mood. Do you really think that the whole thing is going to go the way that you envision it? Probably not. So check in with your mental state and your emotions. Have behavioral flexibility. Be flexible in how you are communicating, in how you are behaving and how you are responding and how you are listening. Have the most flexibility. This is the greatest law of NLP in that state. The person with the most flexibility controls the system. I'm going to I'm going to come off here real quick. When I say controls the system, it has nothing zero nit to do with manipulation because the difference between manipulation and inspiration is the intention behind it. And that's it.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
I'm going to say that again, the difference between manipulation and inspiration is the intention behind it, and that's it. So how are you creating Win, Win, Wins, win for you, win for your client, your family member, your spouse, your partner, your fill in the blanks, whoever. So win for them, a win for you and a win for the greater good. Who else wins when you are being most flexible in your behavior? So have behavioral flexibility. Number five. Operate from a physiology and a psychology of excellence. Operate from a physiology and psychology of excellence. What does that mean? Well, let's start with the word excellence. I'm not saying be perfect. That's one thing that I'm not saying here. So when you are coming from a place of excellence, meaning always doing the best with everything that's available to you in the moment, you can be most flexible. You can operate and communicate from a physiology which is your outer and a psychology, which is your inner of excellence, of doing the very best in the moment with. And here's number six taking advantage and taking the advantage of all of your resources that are available to you. One of the laws of success states. There are no resourceful people. There are only resourceful state of mind. I'm going to say that again. There are no resourceful people only and resourceful state of mind. Now I want to share with you the human communication model that gives you an insight to that behavioral flexibility, that gives you an insight of how we are taking in information. So the you see a brain, you see an external event, just like you're listening to me right now. You're seeing me on the screen. That is an external event that's happening outward, right? You're taking that information in through your senses. You're seeing, hearing, feeling, tasting, smelling. The tasting, smelling does not come from me. I know that for a fact because we're not that evolved yet in our technology. But you're still tasting and smelling other things around you. You might have a chewing gum in your mouth that you're now aware that it actually tastes like something or it just doesn't taste like anything anymore.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
It needs to go. Or you are smelling the gasoline from a car driving by, or you might be smelling the fresh cut grass of your neighbor that cut the grass today. That has nothing to do with me, and yet it is all happening at the same time. That means you are taking in about 3 million bits of information at any given moment. It's just flying at you. If you like it or not. It's there. You're you're you're seeing, hearing, feeling, smelling, tasting. And your brain takes that information in, but it deletes the thoughts and generalizes and finds the compartments where it can take in that information so it's not going in overwhelm or else your brain you would freeze and your brain would go in complete and utter overwhelm. On top of that, there is a filter of memories and experiences what you value, what your beliefs are, the culture that you grew up in, and all of that has an impact on how you are compartmentalizing the information that is coming in and what you're going to do with it. How do you now make an internal representation and you see that the internal representation does not equal the external event because you're taking it in and it's filtering through the deletions, distortions in general generalizations and through your memories, experiences, value system and so on and so forth. So you're making your own picture internally, which has an impact on how in which frame of mind you are in, in which mindset you're in. It has an impact on your mood. It has an impact on your feelings. Right? And that in return is going to show up outward again. So your inner hasn't has an impact on the outer? Very much so. And that shows up as your behavior. So although. You might be experiencing something or other people might say, you know, that was just you know, it was just something that happened. And we both watched it. But it had a different you. Your friend and you. If you're watching the same thing happening, you can have a totally different mindset around it, attitude about it than your friend. There is no right or wrong.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
It's just different. But you were witnessing the same thing happening outward. So I want to give you the human communication model to realize and and and relate on a deeper level that the meaning of your communication is the response that you're getting. As humans, we're all about testing. And when we can test that, that our communication is working, that means that we're actually then also receiving the results that we want to get. Here's another great success pattern. Thoughts lead to feelings. Feelings lead to actions. Actions lead to results. And that ties into what I just said. The communication, the quality of your communication equals the quality of your results. So if you're not getting the results or the responses that you desire, that means go back to the very beginning of this formula and start with your thoughts. Let me give you a really great example. It's raining outside. It's actually not. But in my story, it's raining outside. It's raining outside. It's it's 7:00 in the morning. It's time to get up. And you look out and you say, Oh, my gosh, it's raining outside. It's going to be a crappy day. So feeling of creepiness starts to enter the body. I don't want to. I don't want to work. It is raining outside. I certainly don't want to go out with the dog. All I want to do is pull the covers over my head and stay in bed. Action. At the end of the day, you spend the day in bed, binge watching, tick tock or whatever it is that one might do, and you have the only results that you have to show is maybe a headache from watching on the small screen for much too long. But you really didn't get the things done that you wanted to get done, so start it with a thought. Continued with the feeling the action or the lack of did not equal or did not lead to the results that you desired for that day. Now, same day, 7:00. Our alarm goes off. You look outside, it's raining. Oh, my gosh, it's raining. That's awesome. I can get this, this and this done that I the things that I have been wanting to do and I couldn't be more excited to jump out of bed and get started feeling excitement.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
Action. Jump out of bed. Get to get to work. Get to the things that you set out to do, being intentional with your action and at the end of the day celebrate your results because you did this, this, this and this, and you close the deal and you made a new you created a new relationship with someone that you found on LinkedIn. Whatever you did, you have the results to show for. This right here is a success pattern. And as humans, we've gotten really, really good at misusing the success pattern. So my challenge to you today is go become aware of your patterns that are running you. And there are some patterns that are running you and you're not running them. And when you can become aware of them and decipher them, then you can actually change pieces in that pattern. So it serves you more and then you can test it, and then you can still adjust and you can still adjust and you can still adjust. That is the beauty and the power of success patterns. Guys, thank you for being with me on this beautiful Tuesday here at the Success Patterns Show. Thank you for tuning in. Spread the word. Let me know how I can support you. I do have a gift for you. Let me share that with you. Bear with me. My gift to you is drumroll the success loss checklist. So get your success loss checklist at bit.ly/centerofNLP bit.ly/centerofNLP or simply take out your camera real quick and you can open your camera and make a note or just scan it and then you can open the the website where you get your success patterns, your success loss checklist. Thank you guys for being here. Let me share this again. Tune in again, same time, same place next week, Tuesday, 4:30 P.M. Eastern time, 1:30 P.M. Pacific time. And wherever else you are in the world, spread the word, spread the love. Thank you so much for being here and tuning in until next week. Your Brigitta Hoeferley. Thank you for tuning in to the Success Pattern Show at www.TheSuccessPatternsShow.com, my name is Brigitta Hoeferle.

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