Special Guest Expert - Jem Fuller: Video automatically transcribed by Sonix

Special Guest Expert - Jem Fuller: this mp4 video file was automatically transcribed by Sonix with the best speech-to-text algorithms. This transcript may contain errors.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
Here's the big question. How is it that most entrepreneurs hustle and are always busy and struggle to take just one step forward, only to fall two steps back? They're dedicated, determined and driven, but only a few finally break through and win. This show uncovers those quantum leap patterns of highly successful people so you can simply model what they do and apply to your future success. That's the question. And the answers are right here. My name is Brigitta Hoeferle and this is the Success Patterns Show. And you are right, because you are here at the right place, at the right time at the Success Patterns Show. My name is Brigitta Hoeferle. I'm the founder of the Success Pattern Movement and the CEO of the Center of NLP. And this show was designed with your success in mind because the quality of your success starts with your attitude or let me say, your attitude towards it. Success is an interesting thing its shapes, its meaning with each individual success seeker, and it's not limited to either business or personal. It is modeled in patterns, strategies and behavior. And Tony Robbins is known for saying success leaves clues. I say success leaves patterns, and we're decoding these patterns that led to other people's success, to our guest expert success. So you can then encode it in your own life and your own success. Starting today. It's humans were interesting people. We're hardwired for hands on application by a living teacher. We're not theoreticians because they just kind of talk a good game. We're grandmasters at work. We're going to give you tips on how to model success. And that means that right now you might want to grab something to write with and something to write on because you want to take notes because we are actually literally receiving a guest expert from the future. I know it's crazy, but these are the things that are possible today. And I'm telling you the future is calling and it's a good future. We have a gem of an expert with us today. And before I go even deeper into introducing our gem and guest expert today, I want to give a big shout out to Jonny Kass, my fellow NLP Grandmaster and Johnny Big Shout out to you.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
And it's all about the patents. So today we're going to talk about communication and our guest expert, his name is Jim Fuller. So he's a gem. He's an author of The Art of Conscious Communication and fellow lover of NLP. He has lived a very colorful global life, and I think he still lives that we're going to ask him in a little bit. He's coming from being a barefoot backpacker to a corporate leader, a fire dancer and a traditional tattooist, a kindergarten teacher to a motorcycle courier, masseuse and reflexology to laborer and travel consultant. And with his now his time as a partner, as a father, as a coach, as a facilitator, as a retreat leader, he's going to give us nuggets and information and things that you can immediately implement. He is the author of the book The Art of Conscious Communication. He's also a fellow TEDx speaker, and I cannot wait till you meet him. And that would be right. Now, ladies and gentlemen, help me welcome Jim Fuller. Jim, good to have you here. Man.

Jem Fuller:
Hey, Brigada, How are you going?

Brigitta Hoeferle:
I'm good. Thank you for being here and taking the time. Now, I did say that we are getting a call from the future. Like, literally, where where are you calling in from?

Jem Fuller:
Well, in terms of timeline, I'm calling you from Wednesday morning. It's, you know, 730 something Wednesday morning. And I so I can tell you the sun still comes up tomorrow and the world is all still here and everything's fine. So nothing to worry about.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
With. The only thing is that now the seasons are turned around because it's spring for you. It's fall for.

Jem Fuller:
Us. Yeah. Correct. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's getting. It's slowly getting warmer here. We're coming out of our winter.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
Yeah. And I can say it's slowly getting cooler here. Actually, I learned it from Germany day before yesterday, and it was warmer in Germany than it was here in Atlanta when I landed. That was backwards.

Jem Fuller:
Yeah. Wow. Yeah, that's pretty crazy. I was just in L.A. last week for meetings in L.A., and the weather was perfect. It was beautiful, sunny blue skies every day and t shirt weather.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
I love t shirt weather. It's my kind of weather. Speaking of t shirt weather. So in your bio, you know you're a traditional tattoo artist. Well, I saw it when you were pulling up your sleeves earlier. Will you show us for the ones that are watching us live? Wow. Did you do those yourself?

Jem Fuller:
I did the stuff on my left arm. I did myself because I'm right handed, you know, so I can tattoo my left arm easily, but I can't quite reach my own right arm. So I've tattooed places on my body that I can reach. It's a little bit it's a little bit tricky tattooing yourself, because normally when you're tattooing someone, you use one hand to stretch the skin so that it's a taut canvas. You know, it's easier to tattoo like that, but when you're tattooing yourself, you can't stretch your skin. So it's a little bit tricky because the skin is moving all over the place while you're tattooing yourself.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
So where else in your life do you like to challenge yourself?

Jem Fuller:
Oh wow, that almost sums up my life. I'm challenging myself. You know, it's funny, when I. I had the idea to well, I first had the idea to run retreats in the remote Himalayan mountains many, many years ago in my in the nineties. So I was in my twenties and I was living in the Himalayan mountains in a very remote little village. And I had an idea that I was going to take people there and I but I didn't know what that would look like and then jump forward a couple of decades. And I was in the room with Johnny Kass, believe it or not, today. Jonny I was in the room with Johnny Kass and our our mutual leader teacher at the time. Sharon Pearson was up the front of the room and she was delivering NLP training, which I'd already been through. And so I was crewing, I was volunteering my time as a crew member in the NLP training room, and I had a light bulb moment and I downloaded everything all in one, you know, kind of download like a two minute download. And it was the leadership company that I formed. It was the leadership retreats in the Himalayan Mountains that I was going to run and all of that sort of stuff. And I saw the brand, I saw the name, I saw the program all in a couple of minutes. So then I thought, Right, I've got to do this. I'm going to take leaders on remote treks in the Himalayan mountains with my family over there. And I went to my accountant and and he said to me, that's pretty risky. You need to form a company to do that proprietary limited company to remove yourself from some of the risk. And he said, Are you seriously going to do this? And I said, You know what? It scares the absolute hell out of me. So I have to do it. I have to do it. And that was in answer to your question, Brigida. You know, do I do things that that challenge me or scare me? And yes, I have, because I've also learned that and obviously growth is one of my driving forces to to learn, you know, to live, to learn and give among my core purposes. And so I'm always wanting to learn. I'm like a sponge. And you don't learn in your comfort zone, right? If you're in your comfort zone, you're not learning anything new because you know everything there. That's why you're comfortable. So being uncomfortable for me is synonymous with growth. And so if I'm getting too comfortable, I quite often find ways to to make myself really uncomfortable.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
That's a pattern all in itself, right? That is propelling you out of your little comfort zone. And in your comfort zone, there's. Is there learning. Is there no learning?

Jem Fuller:
Look in your comfort zone. It's certainly nice to spend time in your comfort zone. Absolutely. Because when you're in your comfort zone, you can share and give and rejuvenate and rest and meditate and contemplate. And, you know, there's lots of beautiful stuff occurs when you're comfortable. Absolutely. I think, though, if for me, if I'm really wanting something brand new, whether it's a new neural pathway to fire that's never fired before, whether it's an experience, physiological experience that I've never had before. Generally speaking, that happens in the comfort zone because it's new, you know, and and when things are brand new for us, it's a bit uncomfortable because we haven't experienced it before.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
Mm hmm. You know, we we come out of a time now, and I'm saying this very deliberate. We are coming out of this time of a pandemic. And it was uncomfortable. It was unknown, it was uncertain. You know, was was a lot of things. What would. What was your pattern going into the pandemic and during the pandemic and now coming out, now that you're kind of maybe disassociating yourself a little bit and looking at it from a different point of view?

Jem Fuller:
Yeah, it's it's interesting. I, I was acutely aware of a pattern in Australia. We say a pattern, and I noticed this pattern. I noticed a pattern of my of my own behavior. And it's funny because just prior to COVID, one of my clients here in Australia had asked me to build an online course for personal resilience for frontline responders. It was four paramedics in an ambulance department. Can you please build an online course in personal resilience? So I built the course, launched the course. It was my first online way of serving. And then a month after launching the course, the pandemic came. So that was me tiptoeing into scalability and online, all that sort of stuff and that. And then in the June of that year, so June came and where I live in Victoria, Australia, Melbourne, essentially we had the longest, strongest lockdowns globally, like it was by far the worst restriction that anyone experienced over a long period of time here. And in the first June of the pandemic, I remember thinking of sitting on the couch and I thought, I'll just ride this out. So the government gave us some assistance. We were very lucky and we had some financial assistance. I had enough money to feed my children and I went, You know what? I'll just ride this out. It'll be gone in a few months, and then I'll get back into my work again. And I heard myself think that, and I went, Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. That is not going to work. Jim. You need to flip your thinking now. You need to find out how you can be more relevant and add more value now than you ever have done before. And then I'm. I am. I'm aware that I'm lucky. I know not. I know a lot of people who couldn't do this, but I doubled my business in the first year of the pandemic, and then I doubled that again in the second year of the pandemic. So I've had a 400% growth in my business over the last two years because of flipping the way I looked at it and finding a way to be more valuable.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
When you when people hear that, they want that, too, right? So because everything comes in patterns, because everything when we are able to look at it from peeling back the layers of an onion, so to say, and looking at it with the strategies of neuro linguistic programing, what would you say is the most important thing in scaling your business or growing your business? Despite all of the circumstances that are around you that say you can't grow your business?

Jem Fuller:
I mean, to grow your business, there has to be a need. There has to be something that people really, really need or want that you can help them with. You know, if what you're doing doesn't have any place, then you've got to find another way to use your skill set and your offerings that are going to land with people, you know. And so for me that that flip was I went from being a leadership coach and helping, you know, going and delivering workshops in organizations around leadership and culture. And then I had to look and go, hang on, what, where, what's the pain point for people now? And it was personal resilience, you know, and organizations for the first time board board tables were having to have on in that conversation they were having to talk about the risk, the very real risk of people's resilience and well-being. In the past, that was just a box that we ticked. Oh, yes, yes. We've put some money into well-being and personal development, but now it was on the board table because people were getting sick and people were not able to go to work. And, you know, our resilience was tested. Lots of anxiety rates went up, depression rates went up, all this kind of stuff. So I had to flip and think, how can I help people with their personal resistance and how can I do that online and how can I get what I share, what I do into their their homes because they can't leave home. So that's that was the thinking. And then obviously you come up with ways to do that and it's just always feedback. Try something. Does it work? No. Right. Try something else. Does it work? Oh yeah, it does. Right. Let's double down on that. So constantly getting feedback, you know, the NLP idea that there's no such thing as failure, there's only feedback, right? You get feedback whether something works or not and then just keep taking action.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
Yeah, it's, it's, it's test, test, operate, test, exit. Right. It's, it's constantly testing, looking for evidence. As humans, we always search for evidence. We mostly search for evidence now that we think about it of why things are not working or why they might not work right. It's so much easier. Oh, this is not going to work. You know, I can't grow my business during a pandemic because and then they find all of this evidence that supports their way of thinking and their way of being and believing, right? Yep.

Jem Fuller:
Yep.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
So if it works that way. Jim Yeah, it can actually work the other way too, couldn't it?

Jem Fuller:
100%. And it works even better if you I mean, we know this when I say we, I mean humans through lots of extensive research. We understand now that a positive perspective gets you better results. Now, some people are born naturally optimistic and some people are born naturally pessimistic and some people are in the in between. That's okay, even if you're someone who is naturally negative. So you tend to naturally focus on what's not possible or what what can't be done when you exercise the discipline of a positive perspective. And that can look like sitting down with a piece of paper writing down all the things that can't be done and then saying, Right, I'm going to put that over there and now I'm going to sit here and look at what might be possible, what what is within my control or influence? Where could I spend my energy that might get me a better result? So when we activate the discipline of a positive perspective, we get better results. You know, now we just know that to be true. And like you were saying, Brigida, if if you say that's not possible, well, it's not for you. Because if you believe something's if you believe something's not possible, you're not going to look for ways to do it. So you're not going to do it. It just will never happen. But if you flip that and say it might be possible, I'm not sure how yet, but it might be possible. So let's go and explore that. You're just going to get better results.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
It's the it's the opportunities and possibilities. That can happen that we speak into existence as we are becoming aware that they're out there. We get so much great feedback from our listeners and our viewers right now. Big shout out to Nikita and to Brian. Thank you for being involved in our conversation here, because it's a very it's a very real and a very necessary conversation. And when we are realizing that we do have that, I, I can only speak for myself, have a limiting belief or I'm becoming aware of my mind always goes into a specific area of, you know, not supportive. Then I can actually start turning it around. What do you what does Jen Fuller value most?

Jem Fuller:
What do I value most? The overarching value for me is love. I really value love. And that that plays out in different ways, in different aspects of my life, in terms of my relationships. The most important one of the most important aspects to life for me are my relationships, first and foremost, my relationship with self. Because I believe that the degree to which I love, accept and okay with myself is the degree to which I can love and accept and be okay with anybody else. So that relationship with self is super important. And then obviously the people closest around me, my beautiful other half, my woman and our children and my mother and my brother and sister and it expands outwards, you know, and then the practice becomes a practice. So there are people in life who are different to me. There are people in life who have views that are opposing views to the way I see things. So then love becomes a practice compassion, and love becomes a meditation, you know, something that I consciously need to practice. So love is the overarching umbrella, but love also for me means abundance, you know, leading from a place of love, leading my own business from a place of love, which is abundance, is that I don't have any competition. Because there's no one else. That's me. There's plenty of other people that do the same thing as me, but I don't see them as competition. I also don't feel like I have limited time. I'm not in a hurry anymore because with abundance, there's more than enough of everything, including time. So that doesn't mean because I don't feel like I've got time pressure on myself. That doesn't mean that I sit back and not do anything. I'm naturally driven to take action. I identify as as an action taker. So I wake up every day and take action because I love that. But I don't feel like I'm in a hurry. And I think that that comes from love, you know, as opposed to leading from fear. Fear is scarcity. Fear is there's not enough. Fear is I can't do that. Fear is someone else will get there first. Someone else will create that online course before me or someone will write that book before me or someone will be better than me. And that comparison thing. And it's that's a taxing that's a taxing vibration to be in. You know, it's so much nicer to be in a vibration if there's more than enough for all of us, which for me is love. Yeah.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
Yeah. And I think you brought another beautiful pattern. When you're grounded in your core value, when you're grounded in knowing what you stand for, then it's easy to then take the intentional actions. Or it's easier because people say, Well, you know, I'm not Jim, I can never do what he does. I can't take action. I can't be a fire dancer. I can't be a kindergarten teacher and a motorcycle courier and and a barefoot backpacker and a tattoo are I can't be that. Well, you don't have to. But what you can do is be aware.

Jem Fuller:
Yeah, Yeah, absolutely. And you know, all of those things were things that I did because at the time I needed to earn money and I also wanted to have fun earning money traveling around the world. That was when I was younger. My life since my midlife people call it a midlife crisis. For me, it was a midlife awakening, a midlife opportunity. So ten years ago I had my midlife awakening and lost everything, lost my career, lost my marriage, lost my house, lost everything except my children. And so since then, I've been living very consciously and created daily habitual practices that lend themselves to success. So the discipline of creating daily practices, meditations, affirmations, pause moments, creating greater levels of of conscious awareness of self and life. And and part of my daily affirmations was creating a sense of identity that was all about my values and how who I'm choosing to be, not necessarily what I'm choosing to do. The actions that we take, we can be strategic about that, you know, towards what we want to have. But first is who do I choose to be as a person and and to put that on vibration, to use the power of language and say that out loud every single morning. I am a kind, generous, compassionate, loving action taking man. Every day. Right. And so then and so to anyone listening to this, no one can stop you from from being the type of person you want to be. There's no challenges to that. There's no obstacles. It's not like one day when I've got enough money, I'll be that. No, no, no. You can be that today. And if you make that your mantra every day, this is the type of person that I choose to be, then that will determine the quality of the action that you take and that then will determine what you end up having. So then you turn around one day and you look and you go, Wow, I've got beautiful relationships, I've got a successful business. I live where I want to live. But that's not because I was chasing the have, it's because I was focusing on who do I choose to be.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
Be. And I love that. I love the C word that you have used now many times over. And that's choice, right? You choose to be and and when we and just that awareness when we tap into that choice that you know you're not defined by whatever mom and dad or someone said about you at any point now it's a choice.

Jem Fuller:
Yeah.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
How liberating is that?

Jem Fuller:
That's empowering, isn't it? You know, that's empowering because there's a lot of stuff. There's a lot of stuff that's outside of our control and influence, you know? And so then the practice is acceptance of that, which I can't control or influence. And there's a lot going on out in the big, wide world. So that can that can feel overwhelming and it can feel disempowering. But when you choose again, this is the choice part. When you choose to focus on that which you have some say over, i.e., how do I choose to respond to the stimulus in the environment around me and how do I choose? What are the character traits? What are the values? How do I choose to be? How do I choose to treat people? How do I choose to treat myself? How do I choose to sit in each moment? You know, and that that there's the empowerment and that that really determines the quality of your life. And you know, we know this, but we don't think about it very much. We're all going to die. And none of us know when. We don't know when. And if that doesn't inform you to want to live your best life today, then what on earth will? Right. You know, when when my brother died on his motorbike, he was gone like that. 30 years old and gone, you know. And that was 12 years ago. And four months after my father had died of a brain tumor. So with my father, we knew the end was coming because we nursed him through palliative care at home. But with my brother, four months after Dad had gone, just gone, just like that. And so for me and I don't mean this in a morbid way, I mean this in a celebratory way. I mean, they said in an engaging way today could be my last day. So I'm sure as how we're going to live it in my best way possible. Right. I'm with you on that one.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
I'm with you completely on that one. Brian has a great question. How long do you spend on your daily affirmations informing and choosing your habits?

Jem Fuller:
So I meditate for the first thing I do every morning is meditate for 20 minutes and then 10 minutes of affirmations. And those affirmations quite often will. I'll be saying them out loud as I'm going to the shower while I'm in the shower, while I'm brushing my teeth, while I'm getting dressed. So there's a bit of multitasking going on there. But one of the one of the things that has become habitual for my partner and I to say and we saw this on a TEDx talk years ago, we start the day by saying every morning, today is a great day. Yes, just those words. Today is a great day. Now, that doesn't mean that every day is necessarily a great day. I know that there are some days when things happen and it's a challenging day, but the research shows us that when you say today is a great day at the start of your day, your overall level of well-being. And resilience goes up, right? So when your well-being is higher, you're happier. Your energy that you're putting out is is more attractive to people and more stuff comes back. What we project is what we perceive. So when you're vibrating at a higher level, the universe around you, in inverted commas, seems to be vibrating at that level with you and you are more successful.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
That's such a simple strategy. And yet so little people make use of it. And actually, I had a FaceTime call with my daughter who's in in Munich, in Germany, and she's 20 and she had an aha moment for herself. And she says, Oh, So when I continue to focus on all the things that are not working, then that's where my focus goes to and that's what I vibrate in. But I can I have a choice. I can also focus on the things that are working and celebrate those. Yeah. So it's it's beautiful to see, right? I mean, you have kids that are a similar age when they have that Aha. Effect, that aha moment.

Jem Fuller:
Yeah. Yeah. It's so true. And you know, simple is can, can be deceptively simple, you know, simple is powerful when it is done with consistency over time. So the affirmation that really changed my life from that midlife crisis time, I, I had an understanding that I'd been running a limiting belief in the background, reasonably, subconsciously, that I wasn't enough. I wasn't enough to be successful or happy or I wasn't good enough to be her man, or I wasn't good enough to be a great lover or anything. Insert here whatever word you want. But the belief was I wasn't enough. And then I read these books by people like Dr. Joe Dispenser and others like this around the power of language and repetition and how we can wire our new unlimited belief. So I took I took the belief I am enough, I am enough, I am good enough. And I put it on high repeat. And for the first six months of saying it and Brigitta, I said it so many times out loud every day, and if you had seen me, you would have thought I was a crazy person because I just had this on repeat out loud every day when I was alone normally. And for the first six months of saying it, I still didn't believe it and I didn't really believe it was going to work. I thought, Jim, this is silly. You know, you read a book saying that you can change your thinking, you can change your beliefs, but this is stupid. Was my my ego voice was saying that, but I was so determined to create change, I stuck with it. And then from 6 to 12 months. Things started to change. And then after 12 months of saying the same thing every single morning, tens of times, hundreds of times, sometimes after 12 months, guess what? The neural pathway. That fired. When I said I am enough wired together, I started to believe my own hype. I consciously brainwashed myself into believing I was enough and I deserved success and happiness. And lo and behold, the outside world changed in inverted commas, because it's your relationship with the outside world, right? Because your relationship with self is your relationship with the outside world. So it all changed. And that's when my coaching practice started to fly. That's when clients started coming to me. That's when my retreats around the world started happening. That's when. My beautiful woman. Tyler showed up in my life. Not before. She didn't come and save me. I saved myself. First, I changed my thinking first, and then she showed up. Then I met her and we fell in love, you know? So that's.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
Powerful. That's powerful. And. And then all of that is evidence becomes evidence that you are enough, Right?

Jem Fuller:
So it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. I love that you've consciously created, right? Because we subconsciously and accidentally brainwash ourselves and our brainwashed by our environment throughout our whole lives with unintentionally. And it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. So if you've had a life where you learned it as a young person, you learned that life was tough and people are mean. So you believe that life is tough and people are mean. Life will be tough for you, I promise. And you'll keep meeting mean people. I promise, because we get evidence to back up our belief and then it's a self-fulfilling prophecy. So when you interject and you become awake and you go, Wow, I get this pattern right, I get this game, I can actually flip the script on this game and with volition and intention, consciously on purpose, create the brainwashing that I want that will then become a new self-fulfilling prophecy. And you can change your life. I promise you can do it.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
That's a pattern all in itself, guys. We had so many patterns and you can learn even more from Jim and I want you to. So Jim came bearing gifts. Jim, what did you bring us?

Jem Fuller:
Mindfulness meditation has been massive for me, and I've got a course that's an introductory course to mindfulness meditation, and I would love to give it. I mean, normally it sells on my on my school, but I would love to give the course for free. To your listeners, to the viewers. So just jump on there. The link is there. Just jump on to my school. You can find everything through Jim Fuller dot com, but jump onto the online courses and put in podcast as the coupon code and that will make the course free for you.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
Fantastic. Yeah. Guys, jump on that. You want to go download and access the mindfulness made easy online course for free by clicking the link. Jem Fuller that teacher Bill.com and use the coupon code podcast. So make sure that you use the coupon code podcast. Jim Fuller That teachable dot com. Exactly. Brian Thank you for reiterating that. And the coupon code is podcast and of course you want to follow Jim Fuller dot com and I think we have an Instagram as well Instagram.com Slash Jim Fuller.

Jem Fuller:
Fuller Yeah, come and hang out on Insta. That's, that's a place I have a lot of fun and I'm sharing stuff on there every day and I'm still super accessible. If you dm me, if you send me a message, follow, follow me and send me a message. I'm here, I'll chat back and let's, let's connect.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
Love it. So Instagram.com. Gem. Fuller. Gem. This has been a gem. Just absolutely beautiful. What a great time we had today. I would not. It would have been great if Johnny Cash would have been here, but I know that he's coming as well. So give my love to Johnny when you talk to him. Gem, thank you for thank you for being here. Thank you for bringing your wisdom. Thank you for bringing your love. Thank you for bringing tons of value for our listeners. And yeah, let's go, let's go do more of that.

Jem Fuller:
Awesome. Thank you so much for having me on, Brigitta.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
All right, I'll see you soon. And guys, thanks for joining our Success Patterns Show today on this Tuesday. We're going to see each other again next week in time. Same place. Spread the word. Be there. Until then, Bye and Ciao. For now, thank you for tuning in to the Success Patterns Show at www.TheSuccessPatternsShow.com My name is Brigitta Hoeferle.

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