Special Guest Expert - Kevin Kepple

Special Guest Expert - Kevin Kepple: Video automatically transcribed by Sonix

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Brigitta Hoeferle:
Here's the big question. How is it that most entrepreneurs hustle and are always busy and struggle to take just one step forward, only to fall two steps back? They're dedicated, determined and driven, but only a few finally break through and win. This show uncovers those quantum patterns of highly successful people so you can simply model what they do and apply to your future success. That's the question. And the answers are right here. My name is Brigitta Hoeferle and this is the Success Patterns Show. And that is right. Welcome, everyone, on this beautiful Tuesday as we always have the success pattern show. At this time, thank you for tuning in. Thank you for being here. Thank you for being part. My name is Brigitta Hoeferle, I am the founder of the Success Pattern Movement and the CEO of the center of NLP, where we put the do in Learn, do teach. This show, because you're here, is designed specifically with your success in mind. Because can we agree that the quality of your success starts with your attitude towards it? Hmm. There is a pattern right there, and we're going to learn a little bit more about attitude and leadership on our show today because we have incredible we have an incredible guest expert on exactly that topic here today. And I want to talk quickly about success, because it's an interesting thing. It shapes its meaning within within these individual success seeker. And it's not limited to leadership or to business or to personal life. Success is modeled in patterns and strategies and behavior. And you might have heard Tony Robbins say success leaves clues. I say success comes in patterns because when we see a pattern, we can then decipher the pattern, decode the pattern that led to someone's success, like our guest experts.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
So you can then encode it into your own life for your own success. Starting right now, as humans were hard wired for hands on application by a living teacher. We're not theoreticians because they just talk a good game here. Our grand masters at work. And do we have a master here with us today as our guest expert? He's going to share ideas around the heart coherent leadership and how to choose love over fear. Hmm. Interesting, because we're going to talk about leadership. We're going to talk about business. And you might think, you know, what does have what is love have to do with business? Oh, boy. It has everything to do with business. He's going to talk about influence equation. Interesting. We're going to learn more about that. He loves to be outside in nature. He is an Ironman athlete. And if you know anything about an Ironman that is no small undertaking, he has most fun being outside with his dog when and he also loves to help successful but stressed out business owners and executives so they can again have an impact and create more impact by aligning with their heart so they can truly maximize their genius and truly step into their genius to find more access to happiness and aliveness in their business and in their personal life. So I am very, very honored to have here with me today Kevin Keppel kept Kevin, thank you for being here on the success pattern show.

Kevin Kepple:
What's up? Brigitta Thanks for having me. Excited to.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
Be here. So good to have you here with us guys. Wherever you are listening in from, make sure that in the comments you leave us a hello I am calling in from or I am listening from because we'd love to hear where where in the world are you from and where you're listening from. Now Kevin Influence equation That is interesting. Tell me more. Tell us more influence equation.

Kevin Kepple:
Sure. I think this was mostly based on many past mistakes I made, especially as a new leader. You know, I got promoted to a leadership position in my twenties because I was good at sales, not because I was equipped to be a leader by any means. And I kind of worked that equation backwards. And to me, the influence equation as simple as trust, connection, vision, But as a new leader, I just started sharing vision. I'm like, Hey, here's where we're going. Go get it. And nobody was really connected to it. And I hadn't really built any trust, so people didn't feel very safe around me. But when you really are intentional about building trust first, you know that's imperative. Because if people don't trust you as the leader, they don't feel safe around you. They're not going to go out into the unknown and create. They're just going to react to what already is. And if people are reacting as opposed to creating, the natural byproduct of reaction is resistance. And it really facilitates little to no growth. And as a leader like, the goal is to have the people you lead growing as individuals and growing together as a team. Like that's how you're going to create something that's substantial and really impactful to others. But when you build trust and then connection and then you share a vision like the people you lead will co-create and you'll co elevate together. And that's what leadership is all about.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
There's you talked about resistance, right? And whenever there is resistance, there is no growth. Whenever there's resistance, there's also an opportunity. If we are as a leader, open to learning. What does that resistance mean? So you share quickly with us that you are doing the work now because you have learned over the years from probably painful mistakes. I don't know if they were painful, but sounded like that they were painful. What are what was like the biggest, hardest, most painful lesson?

Kevin Kepple:
I don't know if it's the most painful, but definitely one of the most impactful was, you know what? Leadership's not about me. Leadership's not an action or not a position. It's a behavior and an action. Know if you're leading and nobody's following, then you're not a leader. And I think that was probably one of the biggest ahas for me, that it's really about who you be. And if you like, nobody's resonating with what you're doing. It's not that there's something wrong with everybody else. The one thing we can't control is us, and the quickest way to really shut people down is to try to control them. But that's where all suffering comes from, is wanting things to be different than they are, you know, wanting other people to be different than they are or whatever. And as a leader, I think the goal is just like a good coach. It's to empower and inspire. Like that's powerful leadership.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
Yes. When when we talked earlier, we quickly talked about leadership and coaching and giving advice and telling people in leadership. Do you tell people where to go in coaching? Do you tell people where to go or how do you how could you do it better?

Kevin Kepple:
If I think telling people what to do is really dangerous. Number one, raise your hand if you'd like to be told what to do. Like no hands go up. You know, that's a restriction of autonomy, which is our freedom. And that's one of the most fundamental desires we have as humans. We want to be free and we want to connect with other humans. And any anytime you restrict that, that lowers motivation. And it's crucial that you help people learn to you can guide them and point them in the right direction, but you really want them to win their way with their genius. And Steve Jobs was brilliant, obviously, and created two really powerful companies through his work and with Pixar and Apple. And he has a great quote where he said, you know, we don't hire smart people so we can tell them what to do. We hire smart people so they can tell us what to do. And I think that's really brilliant. Like, I don't hire people to build a website for me and then tell them how to code, because that would be a short conversation to share all my knowledge around coding.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
Yes, I love that. I think a lot of people needed to hear what you just said, including myself. And it's it's so powerful when we can step out of the way, when we can hire for as a leader the weakness that we might have ourselves and then delegate and hire for the strength that they might have. Now we establish that we don't want to tell people because no one likes to be told. But how do you how do you kindle that fire within someone to get their own motivation? And I want to start with you. I mean, you know, being an Ironman athlete, that's not something small. That is something that takes dedication, that takes time, that takes practice, that takes determination. I mean, all of that. And and how does that. So it's a two part question. First, how do you get that motivation specifically when you don't feel like it? Like I'm looking outside today here in Atlanta, it's raining. How do you motivate yourself to go out and run in the rain? And then how does that transfer into business?

Kevin Kepple:
Yeah, I think that's a really. Great question, especially with regards to resistance, which you were touching on a little bit earlier, because pretty much how I do anything. So I'm going to do everything. So if I get better personally, that's going to help me professionally. And every time I go run, I don't necessarily feel like it or go out on my bike or swim or whatever. You know, I think so many people get sideways because they sit around waiting for the feeling and then instead it's like, just take action in hopes of the feeling. You don't always feel like going to the gym, but once I start getting dressed and I get my shoes on, or sometimes when I'm driving to the gym, then I start feeling like I'm listening to music. Or sometimes when I'm in the gym and I'm actually working out, the feeling comes. Sometimes it never comes, but you still do it in hopes of the feeling. Take the action and running like, Oh gosh, like I was never a runner or an endurance athlete of any kind until I got into my thirties and I played sports. But the sports were about short bursts of speed that I played, and I think that it was really great that I got into something that was really hard for me then running still hard for me, like I'm training for the Dallas Half Marathon next weekend and I've got to do like a short run today because it's just a little bit of maintenance and it's like 30 minutes and it's actually kind of nice here. It's not raining and I still have to talk myself into it. I was just having that conversation in my head before we jumped on here, like, maybe I'd be all right if I didn't do it. But you know what it's like. I've got to be the change I want to see, you know, through my actions and my doing the things that I say I'm going to do. Am I honoring the commitments that I have for myself? And I think that's really just having grace for yourself and just showing up without the stories, really the goal.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
So not buying into your own stories, not buying into your own. I call it the stinking thinking, but then it's it's great because that is something that you come equipped with or it's something that you decide. It's at one point, that's who I am. That's what I am determined. I'm going to, you know, run, ride a bike, swim, do all of those things. But then how do you how do you empower how do you motivate others? Right. Because I think a lot of leaders try to do that. They try to motivate others to do what the leaders want them to do.

Kevin Kepple:
Yeah, I think motivation is kind of like happiness, right? It's an inside job. There's nothing outside of me that's going to make me happy. It's the thinking in my head and the stories that are attached to my thoughts. That's what makes me happy. You're unhappy and it's the same kind of thing with motivation. I can't make you be motivated, but some of the ways that you could instigate that potentially are really getting people clear. You know, as a leader, like, do the people that you lead know what they want? Like, do they know why they're there? Do they have a purpose? And two simple questions. It'll give you so much traction with that. It's like, what do you want? And if the people that you're leading or coaching or whatever, you ask them what they want. If they can answer it very simply, then they don't understand. Because if you can't explain something simple, you don't understand. And that's okay. That doesn't make you a bad person. But if you don't know what you want, how in the world would you know if you got it? Or how do you know what action to take? And so like, what is the thing you're passionate about creating right now in your work? What do you want? And then how are you going to mix generosity into that passion? Because at the end of the day, passion is fairly, fairly selfish, right? It's about me, which is it's okay to a point, but how does this serve in the community of the world? How what makes a generosity into this passion? And that's the why. What do you want? Why do you want it? And getting curious is the first step to drive. And that full intrinsic motivational stack that Daniel Pink and Stephen Kotler talk about and really getting curious on what it is you want and why and really leaving the hell out though, because the how is kind of the ego that demands to know how before you even get started. But if you knew how you'd already be doing it.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
And would the how then kind of be like you said, it's dancing around the threshold. You never get into action because you just don't know or you're you're waiting for the feeling to kick in to then, you know, decide I'm going to learn how to do it. You do work with business owners and executive leaders, C-level executives that are dealing with stress. And what you just said, you know, asking the question, what is it that you want that's that can be stressful. Like, who knows what they want? I know a lot of people that are like, I don't know what I want. I'm just sitting here. I'm just I'm just doing time here, right? Yeah.

Kevin Kepple:
Yeah.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
How do you conquer stress?

Kevin Kepple:
Oh, wow. That's a great question. I think just being very intentional about a holistic approach because it's, you know, it's physical, it's mental, it's emotional and really understanding how am I diverting my energy towards the things I want? Because when it comes to energy, we're all built on energy. And we can't create energy. We can't destroy it, we can transform it. And I think it's really crucial that our energy is directed towards the things we want, because however you want to say it, what you focus on expands or what you focus on, you create more of. And so it's really crucial that I'm focused on the things I want more of, which is abundance and love, success, creativity, and want to maximize all of those. And if I'm focused on the stress, then I'm going to create more stress. And that stress isn't always a bad thing. I need some tension to create some sort of growth, but it's that over stress that gets really dangerous and understanding and having an awareness around, Hey, what does it look like when things start to get a little shaky and the wheels maybe start shooting off of this thing? Because you get to an overstressed place and your cup is full of stress and you bump up against somebody, you're going to spill out in a way all over them that you don't want to. And it's usually the people that you're closest to in your life that get punished for your over stress, whether it's anger or depression or guilt or whatever. Negative fear based emotion comes from that stress. And so for me, going out in nature does it every time. Like it could just be a five or ten minute walk with my dog. Frank, like that always gets me reconnected to the truth. And the truth is love as opposed to fear. But I think I love to be creative as well. I love to write, I love to draw, and just finding things that really connect me to the present moment and just that awareness that maybe life's meant to be enjoyed.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
Hmm. That's. That's deep. I think if we would stop this show here, the message, the core message of today would be right there. And you mentioned something earlier, and I mentioned it reading your your your bio love as the answer. And, you know, there might be some people that say, well, what does love have to do with business? What does love have to do with anything? And, you know, that might be in the wrong place. Tell us what what's what's the song? I think it's Tina Turner. What's love got to do?

Kevin Kepple:
Yeah, I think so. I actually I know so. I worked in a movie theater when I was 15, and they played that while we were cleaning the theaters. It was like burned into my brain. So I definitely know.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
Well, there you go. It's all programed.

Kevin Kepple:
So one of one of the CEOs that I'm fortunate enough to work with, he basically said that same thing to me. He's like, man, you know, like love is great and all that. But you come in here talking to these executives about love and blah, blah, blah, they're just not going to follow that. And, you know, fast forward through all the work we've done, he's like, Man, I'm so glad that you didn't listen to me because it's all about love. And this guy's like, awesome. But he's just the last person you think to talk about love. But basically, if you think about it, any action you've ever taken was motivated by one of two things. It was either motivated by fear or love. And fear can wear a lot of different hats, right? It could be guilt, shame, anger, apathy, whatever. But it's based in fear. And then that causes reaction, which leads us to resistance and all that we already talked about. Now love is love and what I'm talking about, obviously not romantic love, just unconditional love, you know, a love for humanity, a love for yourself, for bringing more into the world. Because that's the whole point in life is growth and giving.

Kevin Kepple:
The more we grow, the more we can give. And just a love for creation. A love for your future self, a love for the people you're working with. And again, unconditional love and the beauty and unconditional love is I don't have to like the people that are around me to love them, right? Because you know what? Everybody doesn't act exactly the way I want them to, Right? And I probably don't show up the way everybody else wants me to. But either way, we can treat each other with mutual respect and humanity, which is love to me. And, you know, when it comes to unconditional love, we can practice that because that's why we have in-laws, right? We don't have to like them to love them. I love my in-laws, actually. That's just a joke. But I think it's really crucial that you learn to master that skill of choosing love over fear as a habit in a way of life. And it's so simple. But that doesn't mean easy. And like, ask yourself that question anywhere that you're not getting the results you want in your life. Like what is choosing love as opposed to fear look like in this situation?

Brigitta Hoeferle:
Hmm. I love what you just said with it. It's simple, but it's not necessarily easy. Did you just one day wake up and go, Oh, the answer is love. Or You were in the cinema at 15 years old and go, Oh, what's love got to do with it? Oh, I want to go on that journey and check out what does love have to do with it? What happened? I mean, how did you get to that conclusion?

Kevin Kepple:
Man That's a great question. I think pretty much I started probably around age 15 to 30. It was pretty much the opposite of love. Like everything was a reaction. And I was reacting to this false image of what I thought success and power look like. And it was all based in fear and it was all this ego driven behavior. And I refused to admit that I didn't know something which if you can't say, I don't know, that's a good indicator that you're probably choosing fear over love, because the ego has to know everything. And if it doesn't know, it thinks it should know and like it has to know. And I don't know about you, but it's not a lot of fun to spend time with people who know everything because that is false. Like nobody knows everything and it's so beautiful whenever you let go of needing yourself to be a certain way to be okay. And there's a book called The Bible that I love to read, and Jon, pretty much straight up said, Is it God is Love in the Bible? And oh, cool, man, I'm of God. So, you know, the truth of me is love and whatever that looks like. And again, that doesn't mean I have to like everything that's happening, but just a love for myself, a love for the world that we live in, and a love for abundance.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
That's beautiful. Who would you say had an already heard? There's the good book that clearly has a huge impact on you. Who else has an impact on you? Who? Who helped shape Kevin into who Kevin is today?

Kevin Kepple:
Hmm. Well, I'm lucky enough to have some really great mentors around me. I played sports for a long time. I had some great coaches, but even closer than that, my mom and my dad both really powerful, beautiful people in different ways. But both of them are super intentional about just showing up in an effort to help other people and in a very humble, graceful way. Like no matter what I did or what other people do, like, they just love them ferociously. And I've got a brother that's two years older than me, and I always joke with him like, you're born just grown up like 80 years old. He's wise, he's mature. It's like he had the rule book to life. He was just good at being a human. And he's such a good guy. He treats people so well and he's super successful and it's really cool to have somebody like that around me whose approach is completely different. But we have the same values and just doing the right thing because it's the right thing.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
I want to thank your parents. I really do. Because, you know, when when we look at we want to and here goes another song. You know, the children are our future. I think it was Whitney Houston that sang it. I believe the children are our future. We truly believe that the children are our future, which they are. Then it's not up to us to put all the pressure on the children to behave well, to have a good attitude towards life, to do their work, to follow directions and all of that. It's actually on us, the adults, that have an impact, because as I said earlier, all success is modeled. Whatever however you define success. Right. And and to the people that I speak to, success is almost never about money. It is about other things impact that we make, how we empower others, all of that that that is true success. The the the impact that we have on others. So it's really on the adults that shape our children. No matter how young or old the children are, I am still a child of my parents and I. I truly, from the bottom of my heart, want to thank your parents for leaving such a such a huge impact on you and on your brother. Clearly, in creating the people that you are today and how you show up in the world.

Kevin Kepple:
Yeah, well, yeah, I mean, there really I think, you know, like a lot of people, I feel like get the parent lottery, right? Like, were they perfect? No, but perfection is not really an attainable goal. But for one, we're already born perfect. We're just his perfection, not our finite version of perfection. But that's so brilliant to what you're talking about with models. Because even if it's not a parent child relationship, you're out in public, you're at a grocery store and you're kind of somebody and like, I've seen that so many times in my life, so much just kind for no other reason is to be kind. And that's such a beautiful, inspiring thing to see kindness and like, man, if you want to do one thing to improve everything in your life, like learn to be kind as opposed to right in your relationships and like, wow, everything gets way better as soon as you make that commitment and intention.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
Yeah. What completely rubs you the wrong way and how do you deal with it?

Kevin Kepple:
Who are. I think people who are unkind really, I think people who are, you know, coming from a malicious place and really looking to take from others and in an effort to build themselves up because we're all in this thing together. And I don't have all the answers. You don't have all the answers. I don't care if you're right. Am I wrong? Let's just co-create together. And if you're coming from a place of lack and meanness that just never lands well with me, and if you're taking advantage of people in that way, that's just. That's not what we're here to do.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
Yeah. Yeah. Those are some wise words. You came bearing gifts for our listeners and followers. A master class. Tell us about the master class.

Kevin Kepple:
Sure. We've got a master class. We offer a couple of times a month called Own Your Genius and collaborate with a PR marketing expert on that. And really, it's just a community for like minded people and like minded journeys to come together and really figure out what we can do to create those quantum leaps down the road towards whatever our version of Amazing is.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
Okay, fantastic. So people can simply go on to Kevin Keppel Dot us slash own your genius. I'm going to spell that out for everyone That's just listening. Kev i n k e p l e dot us slash own your genius. All one word. No, all lowercase, all one word. So, Kevin Keppel, that us slash own your genius. Go ahead and click on that. Put that in and follow Kevin there. Now, people can also follow you on social media. What's the best way that they can get in touch with you?

Kevin Kepple:
Kevin Probably Instagram. Just drop me a DM or LinkedIn.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
So they can find you on LinkedIn under Kevin Keppel or Instagram dot com slash Kevin Keppel. That's spelled k e v i n k e p l e keppel. Kevin I've try to put the first and the last name together. I'm going to give you we're going to do like a rapid fire real quick and I'm going to give you one word and you give me a word back. Katie Hate. Love Mindset. Present Travel.

Kevin Kepple:
Fun. Dogs love.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
Wealth, abundance modeling. Mimetic passion.

Kevin Kepple:
Joy.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
Acceptance.

Kevin Kepple:
Humans.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
Hmm. Thank you for that. Guys, get in. Get with Kevin. Make sure that you connect with him on Instagram. On LinkedIn. Get on his website. Kevin Kepler, us on your genius. Kevin, thank you for being here. Any last words you you want to share with us before we part today?

Kevin Kepple:
Yeah, whoever you guys are listening, you're doing great. You're exactly where you're supposed to be. And you just remember you can't give what you don't have. So love starts with you. So choose love over fear and you'll share that gift with the world. We're all in this thing together. And I love you guys. Thanks for being here with us. And definitely check out Brigitta in her stuff because she's powerful, passionate and brilliant. So I highly, highly recommend her.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
Thank you, Kevin, for being on. Thank you for taking the time to all of our listeners. Make sure that you follow Kevin. Tune in again next Tuesday, same time, same place here at the Success Patterns Show. Thanks, Kevin.

Kevin Kepple:
Thank you.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
Thank you for tuning in to the success pattern show at www.TheSuccessPatternsShow.com My name is Brigitta Hoeferle.

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Kevin Kepple

Kevin loves to be outside in nature, is an ironman athlete, and has the most fun (aside from being in the mountains with his dog Frank) when he is helping successful but stressed business owners and executives create more impact by aligning with their heart, so that they can truly maximize their genius and find more access to happiness and aliveness.​

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