Special Guest Expert - Rex Sikes

Special Guest Expert - Rex Sikes: Video automatically transcribed by Sonix

Special Guest Expert - Rex Sikes: this mp4 video file was automatically transcribed by Sonix with the best speech-to-text algorithms. This transcript may contain errors.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
Here's the big question. How is it that most entrepreneurs hustle and are always busy and struggle to take just one step forward, only to fall two steps back? They're dedicated, determined and driven, but only a few finally break through and win. This show uncovers those quantum leap patterns of highly successful people so you can simply model what they do and apply to your future success. That's the question. And the answers are right here. My name is Brigitta Hoeferle and this is The Success Patterns Show. And welcome everyone to the success pattern. Show. My name is Brigitta Hoeferle. I am the founder of the Success Pattern Movement and I am the CEO of the Center of NLP. And you are in for a treat today because we got a great guest expert. Now, I say this every week and every week it is true. And every week it is someone very, very special that carves out time to be with us. Now, before I introduce our guest expert today, I want to go into really quick success patterns because people ask me, Brigitta what are success patterns? Well, we all have patterns. We all run our life in a program, in a pattern. And when we're not aware of it, then we're not intentional in the results that we're getting. So the Success pattern show is interviewing highly successful people that are already and have achieved the success that you might be looking for. And when you can encode the success, you can then decode it for your own life, for your own success, for your own results. And today I have like the. The the the most expert, if we can even say that. But he is the most the greatest expert when it comes to modeling. He's an expert modeler, if that is a word. And it is a word because I just said it. We as humans are hardwired for hands on learning from living teachers. And he is a living, breathing teacher. He has gone through his own journey and really almost robbed himself of his own life after really tragic accident and made a decision after locking himself in his own apartment for quite some time to turn it around. And he is an he's an author. He's an international speaker. He has put on incredibly big events with Richard Bandler and other incredible speakers. He is a speaker in his own right. He's an actor. You've seen him on screen. He is the epitome of strategies. He's the epitome of success laws, strategies and success success models. So, ladies and gentlemen, I am so honored to have Rex Sykes with me. Rex, thank you for being here with me on this beautiful day.

Rex Sikes:
Well, it is a beautiful day, and thank you. I hope I can live up to your introduction.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
You already have 40 plus years. I think you already have.

Rex Sikes:
Well, you're very kind and very generous. Thank you so much. It's so good to be here.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
Rex, you and I have a lot in common, and you and I have met on several occasions.

Rex Sikes:
And I am better off because I've met you in several occasions.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
I agree. And if you don't know Rex yet, you need to meet Rex. And he's brought a gift. And I'll share with you at the very end. You know you you have in the what in the eighties put on great events and in the nineties and you are you are you have introduced customized expert modeling and customized business consulting on the foundation of neuro linguistic programing. Is that right?

Rex Sikes:
I'm not sure I understand the question. I've introduced it or.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
So you are training, you are executing your implementing, not in your own, not only in your own life, but in organizations and.

Rex Sikes:
Businesses. Absolutely. And and we've done both public seminars which are available to the public to come in, as well as behind the scenes in corporate and private events. Absolutely.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
So you go back, what, 40 years in that field?

Rex Sikes:
Well, at least I mean, I, I started looking into all this stuff literally at the at the age of six. And I asked my mom to read me books that we had around the house that was Bhagavad Gita, Kahlil Gibran and Napoleon Hill and other stuff. And by the age of 11 I was reading them on my own, but my dentist was a hypnotist and my father took me to see a stage hypnotist. And so I asked both of them to help train me, you know. And so I got into hypnosis and science of the mind and new thought and all that sort of stuff, and discovered neuro linguistic programing as an actor, you know, in Hollywood. But prior to discovering NLP and it was in its infancy when I discovered it, my acting coach actually knew more about NLP than a lot of the early NLP years apparently did. And I had met her six or seven or eight years prior to that and had benefited from her, her knowledge and expertise, which just blew me away when when, when we started researching NLP and doing NLP.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
So is and now you're we're going down a rabbit hole Is the Meisner method or the method acting connected to NLP?

Rex Sikes:
No, no, not no. I mean, you can, you can certainly apply it. You see correlations. I mean if you, if you actually study any pre history to neuro linguistic programing, you can find almost all of the patterns and all the sub modalities that representational systems in the early work of, of new thought and science of the mind leaders, people who are obscure as well as some who are are more better known and and acting what what Meisner or Stanislavski or Strasberg or other coaches have have done is understood that in order to represent or represent something and to get a real sense of what it is, you need to use the senses to recreate that. So in some of the exercises, for example, you know, you might be early, early ones would be say, imagine a coffee cup, you know, visually created in your head. What does it look like? What does it feel like? Where where do you notice it when you lift it? What's it like when you sip it so that you're not miming it? You're not going like that, but as if you actually had. Where does the light reflect off the coffee is? Or is it cream or black? You have to make some decisions. So it was working with the senses and then learning how to bring those back when you needed it. Now, the difference between most of the method actors was that you conditioned the process of doing this. What the difference was with my acting coach, Lillian, was she said, You want an on and off switch. You don't want to have to be Abraham Lincoln for six months on the set and at lunch having people call you. Yes, Mr. Lincoln, in order to be in character, when you when they say action, you need to have a way of getting into character. When they say cut, getting out of it, which we know is anchoring. And so that plays a lot of the representational system stuff with stuff that she understood as an actress and that that later we bumped into a linguistic program and I was like, Oh my God, Lillian knew all this stuff, you know, ten years before it.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
And it's so powerful when we not just know it. Because I think you and I have met many people that have learned or read about NLP but are not implementing it. They might have watched a YouTube video or they might have watched someone else performing NLP. But at the core it is our mentor program of our communication. It's the Metta program of our being. It's the Metta program of how we how we are, how we the things that we do and do not do. The things that we say and do not say. The things that you know, how we show up and how we not show up. And when we're not aware of it, we cannot intentionally do it.

Rex Sikes:
Well, everybody knows how to cook, but not everybody cooks by then. I mean, they know that they could go to a recipe book and follow it and they could try that or they could get there. They watched people cook. They know about cooking, but that's not the same as actually making a meal in the same way that you can read a book about bike riding but have never ridden a bike. And they and when they do brain research, as you know, and they and they say here, read about riding a bike and then they hook you up to the same thing while you're writing about different parts of the brain light up. It's not it's not the same. And in fact, I've maintained for a long time that the most dangerous words in our language or any language is. I know that I got that because the second we utter those words, we're we're making blanket statements about a whole lot of I mean, I've been doing this stuff for really about 55 years and 40, 40 years of it have been doing, you know, what we've been talking about. And I don't know everything. I mean, you know, and so if I say, oh, I got that or I know that I'm immediately I'm kind of just shutting down the opportunity to have anything else come in. And I would watch people come into my workshops. I, I didn't want to write a book for a long time because people come into my workshops and I, I was convinced to release audio programs at the time because they were like, well, at least give people a taste. And I went, Well, that's a little bit more experiential than a book. So I was. And then videos, of course came out at the time, but people would come in and you could watch them go. I heard that on the tape. I saw that on the video. And all they were doing was looking for a match. For what? Like, as if that meant something. And while it was nice that they were excited by it, it doesn't it doesn't do anything for them. So it would be much more useful if instead of getting excited about having heard something and going, Oh, I knew that it would be to stay open and stay available and be committed to the learning process.

Rex Sikes:
And in fact, the gift that that you're going to be giving is about how we use our whole brain to learn and to master our thoughts, our feelings, our emotions and our behaviors by by a process. It's a process that I've used in training and elsewhere. But it is because. You know, the the the. Well, unconscious incompetence. Unconscious competence. This description of how we go through things, unconscious incompetence is you don't know that You don't know. And conscious incompetence is you know that you don't know. So one time you didn't know about writing back then. You do know you can't write about it then. Conscious competence is when you try and ride the bike and then unconscious when it's become a habit and it's reliable and automatic and everything else people don't understand is that the conscious component phase is the largest phase in all of that. Yeah. So if you want to be an athlete who uses muscle memory in order to perform because they don't consciously try to win a race at the time, they have that intention, but it's their subconscious, their unconscious or other than conscious, whatever you want to call it, it's their muscle memory that takes over when they have to perform and they spend four years or more, in fact, their entire life conditioning themselves to perform for maybe 30 seconds or less in some cases. I mean, they're training, they're preparing, they're getting ready. That is, they're wiring it in at a neurological level. But they have to start consciously and they have to make adjustments, get feedback, get coaching, and everybody knows the value of having a good coach. So this process is the one that a lot of people want to skip over. They want to do the shortcuts, they want the hacks, they want the magic one, they want to have the benefits, but they don't want to have to put in the the effort. And if you plant the seed, you have to wait, you have to nurture it, and then you can harvest it. It's the same, same thing with getting good at anything. So lastly.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
Consistently.

Rex Sikes:
Question, I mean, hypnosis is wonderful and NLP is wonderful and all this stuff is wonderful. But would you go to a heart surgeon or a brain surgeon who said I, I became a heart and brain surgeon because someone put me in a chair and told me through hypnosis that I was impressed. Heart surgeon or brain surgeon in the world. I wouldn't I want to go to the person who's actually done some brain surgery or heart surgery prior to that and has a good success record, which means they actually have to do it. If hypnosis, which is a wonderful adjunct, all of this is wonderful adjunct to what it is that we can do. But you still have to do it. You know, if you if you're doing it and you're doing hypnosis, fantastic. But if you're thinking you're just going to do it with hypnosis, it's not going to happen. And people have people have been sold this. I'm going to say something. I hope you want to say it. There are a lot a lot of thought leaders out there right now trainers, presenters, speakers, authors who have got it wrong. Some of you timing me at this moment and.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
Someone someone is calling. I don't know. Maybe it's opportunity.

Rex Sikes:
Rex Murphy my dog is barking and some of these stranded face timing and oh, I see who it is. Okay, so the. The point is, they get it wrong. Hi, Bailey. Come here. They get it wrong. What they do is they follow the system. Hey, you can have any shiny object that you want if you just work hard enough and struggle and sacrifice and risk and do all these things. What they miss is that. Come here, Bailey. Come here. In order to have something, they need to be at first you be it. And then you do it. And then you can have it. So if you transform yourself to be the kind of person for whom something is easy, by putting in putting in an adequate amount of effort, a reasonable amount of time, then you can you can become more of who you want to be so that you can do the kinds of things that allow you to have what you want to have. And they just put the cart before the horse. They get people attracted to shiny objects, what they can have or what they need or what they want. And then they give them this thing of just work and struggle and and ten times this and ten times that and and break through boards and do all these things. And what they miss is the fact that the brain works by least energy and the law of conservation. It streamlines. It's about neurological wiring. It's about the patterns of habits, what you're talking about, and you have successful patterns that do things that you don't want consciously, and then you have success you do want. And knowing the difference and being able to to direct it is what is truly about. And that's what most people miss.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
That is that is powerful on all in itself, right? Because we all are conditioned on our patterns. Most of us walk through life not even knowing that A there are patterns and B, that they are conditioned, right? Because you often hear I'm pretty sure you have encountered this as often as I have, probably a lot more often than I have. Oh, NLP it's it's about programing. Well, guys, you all have been programed, you know, you just don't know it.

Rex Sikes:
Tv programs and it's ongoing.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
It's ongoing. I mean. Advertisement. What is it? It's anchoring. It's it's suggesting that you need to have whatever it is that they are offering. And you have been programed and you just don't know it. And that's the interesting part. But as I said in the introduction, where there is an encode there is or where there's a decode, there's an encode encode, there is a decode. So being aware of what's going on and then taking inventory, deciphering and perhaps changing elements in it makes you a creates a better model and creates a better pattern to to follow. So I heard in the beginning and I'm fascinated by it, that you were so young. You're six years old at age 11. You're getting getting trained. Where was it, the environment? And this Buckminster Fuller said, you know, environment is stronger than willpower. Was it the environment that you grew up? Was it something specific in your early lives?

Rex Sikes:
Yeah, well, yeah. I mean, I grew up pretty normal. I mean, but a weird kid that didn't consider himself normal, you know, he felt kind of like an outcast. But my parents put me into dance class and acrobatics when I was three and acting when I was four. And not ever not ever wishing that I'd have anything to do with either of this. But just as a way. Then they gave me piano lessons when I was six and I and and I was sent to parochial school and I hated it. I hated parochial school. And we had to go to Mass every morning in those days. And the priest, I always thought it was just pomp and circumstance. The mask was in Latin. We couldn't understand it. All this incense and stuff in the precinct, pious and godly. I thought, this guy, this guy has got a connection. I'd like that connection. And so I wanted to be a mystic. So in my life, I've managed to be a mystic and an actor both, which would have frightened my parents. But the so there were books around the house and because I guess because of the parochial school, that is because I have no explanation other than I've always been seem to have been pulled to a higher purpose or or that there might be something else out there besides what we see through our five senses. And then and then through plenty of different disappointment, tragedy and and everything in my life. Now what I what I have come to learn through all of it and why I wrote my book, Life on Your Terms is because I wanted to to be able to simply present to people the kinds of things that we're talking about and make it very, very simple, because oftentimes it's very complex, too many steps, too many things to remember. And and yet you can remember some very simple things. And you can remember three or four or five items, and that's all you really need. And when it comes to personal transformation, truly, it's it's a lot easier than most people think it is or understand it. But that's because they don't understand and they don't actually try it.

Rex Sikes:
But to to address your point, we are conditioned from birth on me in the womb, in fact, and you might argue, some will argue that we're. And even before that or that as a spirit being you chose the birth or you chose your parents. Well, let's leave that aside for now. But we show up with some. Genetic baggage. Perhaps genes that are more now we learn, are more influenced or turned on or off by the environment and what's going on. But at any rate, we come into this world and from zero to about two, we're in the delta phase of the brain waves stage and from two to about six or seven we're in theta and then we start producing alpha more regularly and then then beta. In fact, an argument about ADHD and kids that are hyperactive is that they're stuck in Alpha, that they're producing too much. And so they use hyperactivity as a way to get back into beta. And of course, what what is what is our people do? They tend to medicate them so that they go are controllable. But it's really about brain waves more than anything else. But at any rate, so this is why Aristotle said, you show me a seven year old child and I'll show you the adult. This is why most personality theories say that, hey, your personality is pretty much what is going to be for the rest of your life by the time you're seven years old. It's why the age of accountability in evangelical Christian circles in some cases, also say that at seven you can decide for or against God. You have enough presence of conscious mind to do that, whether whether it is true or not. But the point is, is that that conditioning process that started when you were young, albeit by well-intentioned people and not so well intentioned people in media and peers in school and everything else continues to go on. And it is so close to us that we don't notice it because it's neurologically wired. And so it becomes our mental, our feeling, our behavioral, our speech patterns, our habits. And if you have a habit like biting your nails and you suddenly find yourself with your hand in your mouth, it means that something triggered it or something instituted it and you went with it and then you went, Oh, I shouldn't be doing this.

Rex Sikes:
If you do, or sometimes hours go by kind of thing. So the point is, is that we can learn, we can recondition ourselves, but you need to really recondition yourself similarly to the way a bodybuilder would condition themselves. You know, you don't just wave a wand. There are some approaches in neuro linguistic programing that are very useful for very specific things and others for more generative things. But ideally, if you wanted to learn to juggle, you just have to pick up a ball and start juggling. And that's how.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
My gosh, say that again, please, for everyone to hear.

Rex Sikes:
Why I've been teaching juggling in my workshops for that very reason. If you want to learn to juggle, you have to pick up some balls and juggle. Now you also need to notice that dropping balls is part of juggling. That's why I always recommend they get these square balls instead of the round balls so you don't have to chase them unless you need the extra exercise. But you juggle and you'll drop balls. But the more that you do it, the better you get. The better you get, the easier it gets, the easier gets, the better you get. And after a while, you get pretty good at juggling, you know? And if you decide I want to go further with this, you can go further with this. The same with golf or piano or sewing or cooking or reading and writing or whatever it is that you want to do. You know, you wire in the skill and then that becomes a skill that you can use. So with the air conditioning that we got as a child, some of it here's, here's the thing that I tell people and they just don't get it is in my book.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
Chapter three, I think.

Rex Sikes:
There's no such thing as self-sabotage. Your brain only works in one direction. Your brain only says yes, and it serves to keep you alive or to have you thrive. That's the only two things meaning to replicate. So it only has two things that it does. And it streamlined. It uses the least amount of effort or the law of conservation in order to do that. So that's why you have habits, so you don't have to learn to do things over and over again. You do them and you do them reliably and automatically because that's what the brain learn to do. Then the conscious person comes along and goes, I sabotage myself, I want to do this, but I keep doing that. No, you're doing exactly what you were conditioned or learned or to do. You just now have decided you want to do something else and you're up against the machinery which only knows one thing, and that's if you smoke or drink or overeat or bite your nails. That's what it learned to do. So it's going to continue to do that until you recondition it or train it to do something else. And there are ways to do that. And yet it is just like planting a seed. It's going to take a little bit of time, is going to be a conditioning process. And but the payoff is incredible because instead of going, I do this, this dark shit or diamonds, excuse my language. But if you find yourself going to dog crap a lot and you want to go to Diamond, it's a choice. And you can choose and you can steer yourself. But but you train your brain the same way. The brain was originally conditioned.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
When you tell that to people that it's a choice, do they get pissed off?

Rex Sikes:
Yes, of course they do. Because? Because part of our conditioning is it's someone else's fault, whether it's God, the universe or whatever, I'm an atheist or I'm a believer, whatever their religion is, you know, that kind of thing. Or it's the government or it's religion or it's the weather or it's the banks, or it's my spouse or my children or my parents is somebody other than me. And so you say, Hey, if you were to take 100% responsibility for your life, do you know your life would change? You go, Yes, but I'm not responsible for everything. But let's pretend that you are. And that's one of the things that I do like about NLP. We're not claiming anything that's necessarily true, but let's try it on. Let's call it a useful lie. So let's assume that you could be 100% responsible for your life. What choices would you make that are different than the ones currently going on? And if you were to do those things 100% responsible, how might your life change? And you can get them to begin to entertain that as opposed to just. That's why I know that when they say no, no, no, no, no, I'm not responsible. But what are they telling you? They're saying I know differently. They're using those same words. I know that the truth is not what you say it is. I know that can't be possible. I know. And so they shut right down. It's okay to be skeptical and open minded. That's great. Be skeptical, but don't be cynical and closed minded.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
How do you question the status quo? Like if someone presents something as the ultimate truth, how do you question that?

Rex Sikes:
Based on what purpose?

Brigitta Hoeferle:
Well, based on any purpose that you have in the moment, like there's a pattern to questioning the status quo, isn't there?

Rex Sikes:
Well, yeah, but I guess what I'm saying is there's some things I just let go. I mean, if it doesn't ha. I just. It doesn't if you want to if somebody wants to believe something, I suppose if they were handcuffing you and taking you away and putting me I might have some questions about questioning says, well, but what I'm getting at is, is somebody is expressing their opinion about what something is or somebody of authority in a particular field or something. I express opinion. The most difficult thing to find and here's where people may disagree is actual accurate information. Everybody has opinions. I have opinions, expert have opinions, everybody has opinions. Government has opinion. Religious opinion is more difficult to actually get the accurate facts out of things. And what are facts? Facts are things that are independent of opinions. But if you're in a court of law, for example, a fact or what we call evidence is disputed by the parties, this party will say, well, what the evidence will show in this person? No, what the evidence shows is this. So independent of opinion, you know, that's how we interpret facts. So I go, okay, so you have an opinion. That's great. I mean.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
So there's a choice. Again, there's a choice of you questioning the status quo or just leaving it and go, okay, if that's what you want to believe, then that's what you want to believe. If it's an uphill battle, then forget it.

Rex Sikes:
Well, what I'm saying is, if I'm on social media and somebody says something like, How does that make my life more enjoyable if I get involved with this? But if somebody is in the training program or I'm working in a corporation and it's something that would benefit them by by having the opportunity of exploring different possibilities than just going down one one particular pathway, then I might ask them questions to say, Well, what would be different if we did this? If we thought about this differently? And it's always got to be an invitation because people I invite you to take 100% responsibility, you know, and I don't always say that. I say you must take one. And people are No, no, no, no, no. I can say I invite you to take it. And they go, No, no, no, no. But there's a difference between something being offered in something or something being pushed on somebody.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
So. Yeah. Or. Or commanded almost or commanded. So there's an ecology that we can choose. I mean, it's a ecological consideration. Do I want to fight that? If it's a battle, do I want to get into that argument? If it is an argument, do I want to make my point or I mean, with what outcome am I going to make?

Rex Sikes:
Well, let me put it to you this way. My children or my girl dogs or girl dogs are with me. My children are in different parts of the country, but I would do anything positively and legally to help my kids to be better. Or if they had trouble or something, I would do anything I could. I would give them my money. I would give them on my time, my energy, your effort, whatever. And I have I mean, you know, in order to help them because they're important to me and their family and and I want them to thrive. And I want them obviously, to do better than me and live longer and have a fruitful life and everything else. But it was somebody else. Do I want to go there? And the answer is, what kind of relationship do we have? I mean, another is if I'm arguing with somebody at City Hall, you know what I mean? I mean, I want to live my life, but life is too short to get involved with things that aren't significant. That doesn't mean you can't be proactive and you can't go out and be an activist and you can't fight for the rights of people. And I'm saying, absolutely you can, and I do. But I'm just saying it's not worth it to me to get into a rabbit hole intellectual pursuit with somebody unless they they are going to benefit by it or unless they want it or they're paying me or something, or I'm paying them in order to to. You know, if it's just. I may be misunderstanding the question.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
No, no, no, no. I love this because I think this is a especially nowadays a very valid topic of because everyone has an opinion about everything and everyone wants to be heard and everyone chimes in, I'm over generalizing, right? But it's the world that we live in right now because everyone also has a microphone.

Rex Sikes:
And everybody has a phone and they look at it more than they look at real people. I mean, it truly, truly if it is. There's a meme going around. You know, I grew up, you know, you came in with the street lights, came on, and we you know, we ran out, we played, we played with sticks, we got dirty, we ate dirt, we rode bikes, we did these things. And I'm like, Yeah, you know? And now so many kids are on their phone where everything is passive. It's video. Well, this is this is an important point. We've talked to talk about this now for 40 years or more when we write our name and I know you know this, but when we write our name, there's an infinite amount of connections that can be made in the neocortex and the thinking gap. It's called brain writing. So the reason why you should always take notes and cursive and why they they're trying to eliminate it from school. But when you write, you don't always write the exact same way. You get tired or you do this or you get. Right. That's good. That's a good brain workout. So always and the people who are successful seem to know this the most. They don't use iPads and all these kinds of things. They take it on legal pads. They take notes. If you're writing a screenplay, Yeah, type it on the computer. I get that. But. But. But I know a friend who writes everything longhand and then gives it to somebody to type. But if you if you type, you only make eight repetitive movements, and they're consistent. So you only do eight if you have an iPad. You know that you see the touch screen like that. If you do a texting, you're probably like that. So the difference between the kind of neurological work when when since I've had a phone, this is a confession. I used to have all of my numbers, all of my addresses, all of my appointments, everything I ever did in my head. I never kept the calendar. You never kept the book? Really? Yeah.

Rex Sikes:
And. And I. And I fought for a long time not to have a phone. And once I got a phone and I got and I would travel and I would tell people, give me precise directions that I can follow. But I didn't want MapQuest and I didn't want a GPS. But since I've relied on the phone, I don't know. I don't know any phone numbers anymore. I mean, including my own for the most part. I don't know, you know, my life. I don't live by the calendar. I don't know what I'm doing, you know, and that and that makes us dumber. It dumbs us down. It's a benefit. It's convenient, but we don't we're not relying on ourselves the way we used to rely on ourselves. So as technology advances and makes it more and more that we can do more and more things that we don't have to do or replace as humans, I mean, there's there's some cause for alarm in that because our educational system tends to dumb people down, our government tends to turn people down, are religious, tend to dumb people down. You know, people want people who say, okay and accept the next. I mean, and they and they got us right. I mean, every every couple of months you get a new phone coming out from the same manufacturer you just supposed to last last latest model sorry, last, latest model. And six months later, there's a new new one. And there are those people who have to have the next shiny object and others who go, I'm still working with an iPhone three or that kind of thing, you know. But but it it is designed to part us with our money and to keep us compliant and and to and.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
That's a program.

Rex Sikes:
It is a program.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
It's a program. And that's why I asked the question earlier, how do you question the status quo? Because when you're able to question the status quo, you're actually able to take a step back. And NLP, we call it disassociating, look at it from a different angle and see, do I do I really need this phone? Do I do I really need to go on a tick tock, you know.

Rex Sikes:
Rabbit hole or.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
Or whatever it is, what you really need to buy into what the politician says.

Rex Sikes:
Well, what people don't understand is it is a choice. Darker or diamonds is always a choice. There's an actual gap between these between neurons in your brain. There's a literal gap. If a testable in terms of the amount of time it takes to go from here to there. There's a gap when you breathe. You don't just inhale, exhale. You actually stop your heartbeats and then it rests and it beats it. And at rest. You know, there's there's a there's a there's there's some pauses in life. And what people need to do is pause sometimes and understand that they have the opportunity to make a choice. One of my own personal quotes is Exploration is a doorway to adventure. And awareness.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
Again.

Rex Sikes:
Exploration is a doorway to adventure and awareness and curiosity are the keys that open that up now. Here's the way. Here's how I live my life. Nlp or no? Nope. It's important to set a destination or to have a goal. But. The destination pales in comparison to the journey because you could die on the way to your goal. Not you personally, but you could die on the way to go. So it's the journey that's important. The journey is the adventure. And when you adventure, there's good things and not so good things as people that come and go. I mean, think about all the movies you watch, their adventures, movie shit happens, right? And. And yet we love it just the same way. Like some people like roller coaster rides, you know, there's ups and downs, there's all this stuff. Life happens to us in spite of whether we're aware of it or not. And there's no such thing as time except to the human. You know, we think in terms of past, present and future, but to the universe is just always present, which is true about your subconscious mind as well, or your unconscious or other, whatever you want to call it. It doesn't think in terms of last year or ten years ago. It doesn't care whether you tall or short or black or white. You don't care if you bite your nails over, smoke or drink. It just does what it learns to do and it will keep doing it until it's reprogramed retrained to do something else. So you have a choice of either allowing and perpetuating that old programing, which you may not like, and which does serve you. It serves to keep you alive and help you thrive at the very same time that it may. Some of it may be less than glorious or debilitating. You can change it, but it's a choice. So the question is, is how do you want to live your life? How do you want a journey? I want the journey to be ecstatic. I want it to be blissful. I want it to be fun. I want it to be loving.

Rex Sikes:
And any challenge or any opportunity that comes along that happens like sum, like you get the letter in bad news. Some people get that letter of bad news, take them down a rabbit hole of despair, fear, worry, anxiety, anger, hate. And they wallow in it and they go down it and we can talk about anchoress and all that stuff. But the point is, is that another person has the opportunity to go, Wow, let's see where this goes. This will open me up to new things I never, ever thought I would ever do. I always land on my feet. Things are good. I've had situations arise in my life that were devastating. And yet some of the people who've become lifelong friends, I've had changes, discovered things that I would never have otherwise known because they were not the normal kind of experience. So life is going on, whether you're living it, if you're so enjoy it. That's why I book show it again. Life on your terms. Create the life you want is because and that's what I want to do in the book. I wanted to make it simple, easy, something you could do without having to remember and be able to apply it without a whole lot of energy or effort. Because again, the universe doesn't. The universe works by the law of conservation. It at least energy. So if somebody is telling you you have to struggle and you have to sacrifice and you have to risk and you have to do all this hard work, you could and there are people who make it that way, you know, but you don't have to. The reason why Napoleon Hill said it's thinking grow rich, not work hard and grow rich. Not saying you don't have to, you don't have to do anything. There's action. I mean, that goes without saying. You think it and then you act it. Every human invention, that's everything from the spoon to the computer always first began as a thought, and then it was translated into reality. It just remained a thought. We wouldn't have a spoon or a computer, so action always follows it. That goes without saying. But how you do the action depends on who you are and whether you're joyful and grateful and positive and optimistic.

Rex Sikes:
And lastly, before I shut up for your optimism, back when I started my work in the in the seventies and eighties, there was a I got enamored with the placebo effect. And and the placebo effect is different than the placebo. I mean, people know about a placebo, but the effect is if you think something is going to be a benefit, it will be a benefit. That's whether it's a prayer and amulet, a medicine that you take that's prescribed or something that's an alternative or waving a wand. If you believe it's going to help you, it can help you If you believe that it's not going to help you, a medicine or whatever treatment or predictor, it won't help you. Travis Air Force Base did a study that said attitude is the number one predictor for success. Attitude toward the treatment is the number one predictor for success of the treatment that was based on 157 cancer patients who were undergoing treatment at the time. Attitude is the number one predictor for success is turned out that since those days and since Bernie SIEGEL and Norman Cousins and the pioneers of those things, that attitude is the number one predictor for success in all areas of your life, whether it is romance, health, wealth, happiness, you name it, because if you're optimistic and positive, you're squirting the right brain chemicals that promote well-being and health. And when you're healthy and you have well-being, you make better decisions. You feel more like doing things. If you're stressed and you're releasing the hormones that that debilitate your gut is affected, your immune system is affected, your heart is affected, your blood pressure. So you're either dark shit or diamonds. You know, you have to you have to choose. The reason why I say it that way is because people go, I don't know what to do. You go choose. Do you want to keep doing what you're doing or do you want to do something different that gives you something? I mean, it's really a no brainer.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
I Everything that you say is so spot on. And I cannot wait to dive into life on your terms. Show again life on your terms. Live the life that you want. Now everyone that goes and buys your book a life on your terms live the life that you want. Everyone that goes and buys your book and they can buy the book right here, Right? Buy it at Amazon.

Rex Sikes:
And then this is a hardcover. They get the hardcover coverage. They take their receipt code back to that website.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
Okay, Got it. So go ahead, buy the book on Amazon. Go to saks.com slash book and type in your receipt number and then Rex Rex's t rex will go ahead.

Rex Sikes:
No, I'm sorry I stepped on you. We unlock an online training that's valued at $497. Absolutely free. It's a bonus as a gift to to go with the book. Once you have the book and it's called the Mastery Loop. And it's literally when I started my work back in the seventies, even prior to NLP work and then and then carried on, I created something called Mind design. It had to do with what happened to me and something called directed questions. I developed the attitude activator, all of these things together. I run all my programs through that. So whether it's NLP, how to get people to do what you want, to change your thoughts and transform your life. I mean, all of my programs go through my design, which is about living happier, healthier, wealthier and all the kinds of things that we've talked about. I wrote the book, so that would be a simple blueprint for what you can do. That's easy. Bitesize doesn't take a whole lot of extra effort. You don't have to have to change everything that you're doing in order to be able to do this. You can invite size components, get a lot of return on your investment, and by that I mean if you if you want to change, you can massively incredibly discover yourself changing in positive ways. And the mastery loop is how we learn, how the brain learns the steps that we actually go through. When we do talk about unconscious incompetence to conscious or unconscious competence in that. But the way we go through it, what the educational system doesn't do and what you can do in order to wire these things easily. So it's a it's a learning how to learn and but not only learning how to learn, but how to transform your life so that you're more joyful, happy, healthy, wealthy, successful in all areas of your life.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
And I think everyone wants that. So one last question. How do people get in touch with you, Rex?

Rex Sikes:
Well, they can go through Rex Dexcom and they can go support at CNN.com. I'm on Facebook right there. If you just look or you can just search me on Facebook. Rex or if you Google me, you know, by the way, your search engine Me it's not just use one, but if you search engine me, you'll find more about me, but also different ways to get in touch with me. But through my website or through Facebook, I'm on Twitter, I'm on Instagram and all those things. The problem with some of these things is I get so many different requests from people and some of them are legitimate and some of them are not legitimate, some of them are bots, and some of this that's very difficult to know unless somebody says, Hey, I saw you on this, all right, I'm a friend of Birgitta or something like that, to know whether somebody might be wanting to communicate with because enough people are willing to sell me their body.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
So definitely, definitely. Definitely reference the success pattern show. So when you get in touch with Rex Sykes, Rick Sykes dot com, find him on Facebook. Perfect. Rex, this has been an I know we can continue this conversation like four days is it's wonderful. You have so much knowledge to share. I love every second of it. Thank you for sharing all of the nuggets. Guys, I sure hope that you took notes. You can also go back on the success pattern, show and relisten or go on YouTube and re listen to the interview today. Rex, Thanks for taking the time. Love how you model to not work hard from your back yard with the dog. You're keeping it real and I love that. So thank you for modeling that. Guys, tune in again next Tuesday, same time, same place. Thanks, Rex. Take care, everyone.

Rex Sikes:
Thank you for the opportunity. Thank you for your viewers. And I really do appreciate this. I'm so good to see you this way. And I can't wait until we're back together in person and and best to Christian and everyone. And I just I love you and I miss you and and thank you for the opportunity. It means a lot. Thanks.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
Thank you, Rex. Thanks, guys. Thank you for tuning in to the success pattern show at www.TheSuccessPatternsShow.com My name is Brigitta Hoeferle.

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Rex Sikes

After a skydiving accident nearly robbed Rex Steven Sikes of his life and caused him to spiral down in negativity for a couple years, Rex locked himself in his apartment for 6 weeks to sort things through and develop the confidence to face the world again living happily and successfully again. During those weeks of deep introspection and meditation Sikes discovered the keys for transformation which he has shared around the world ever since. He discusses this in his book, Life On Your Terms: Live The Life You Want. Sikes has four decades experience helping thousands of people transform their minds and lives. His innovations include Mind Design™ and Directed Questions™. He conducts online programs on transformation, Mind Design™ LOA, NLP and at public events.

Sikes is a professional speaker, life and business mentor, consultant, and an educator. He is an actor and filmmaker and consultant to the entertainment industry. IRex is an author, creator of The Attitude Activator™, Rex presents seminars, public and corporate programs, full workshops and training events. He mentors professionals and newcomers in their fields. He is a keynote speaker the power of your mind to get your goals, increase you bottom line and make your dreams come true. His captivating message inspires audiences and will remain with you! His clients include actors and filmmakers, professional speakers, attorneys, CEO’s, sales professionals and managers, medical doctors, law enforcement, personnel managers, small business owners, training personnel, investors, teachers and educational administrators and people from all walks of life. What they share in common is a desire to live life on their terms, and create their own best life. He has consulted for attorneys and news media offering commentary on famous trials and celebrities. He has programs available on productivity, diversity and other topics for businesses. He coaches actors, directors, performers, speakers, and consults for movies and television. In addition to training, and executive coaching, Rex does customized expert modeling and customized business consulting.

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