Special Guest Expert - Steve Ek: Video automatically transcribed by Sonix

Special Guest Expert - Steve Ek: this mp4 video file was automatically transcribed by Sonix with the best speech-to-text algorithms. This transcript may contain errors.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
Here's the big question. How is it that most entrepreneurs hustle and are always busy and struggle to take just one step forward, only to fall two steps back? They're dedicated, determined and driven, but only a few finally break through and win. This show uncovers those quantum leap patterns of highly successful people so you can simply model what they do and apply to your future success. That's the question. And the answers are right here. My name is Brigitta Hoeferle and this is the Success Patterns Show. And that is right. Welcome everyone to the Success Patterns Show. My name is Brigitta Hoeferle. I am the founder of the Success Patterns Movement and the CEO of the Center of Neuro Linguistic Programing in Atlanta, Georgia. That's where we're located. And we are offering our services globally, all around the world. We are here to put the learn and the do and the teach in learn, do teach. This show was designed with your success in mind, and we are doing that with incredible guest experts because the quality of your success that you might have today and that you are wanting for this year, I mean, this is the first success pattern show in 2023. Hello. Celebrate with me. Your success in 2023 starts with your attitude towards it, and I sure hope that you have something to write with and something to write on because I know that our guest expert is going to drop nugget after nugget after nugget and you will be able to tie that into your own success. Success is an interesting thing because it shapes its meaning within each individual success seeker. Everyone has a different definition of success and most of the time it has nothing to do with money. Money is the byproduct, if you will, of what they consider success. Success is modeled. It's modeled in patterns and strategies and behavior. And you might have heard Tony Robbins say that success leaves clues. I say success comes in patterns, and a pattern is an example for others to follow. We are decoding our guest experts pattern guest experts patterns here in the success pattern show so you can then encode it into your own life, adapt it so you can have your own success starting right now, starting right today for 2023, as humans were hardwired for hands on learning by living teachers.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
We are not theoreticians because they just kind of talk a good game. Here are grandmasters at work and we're going to give you tips on how to model success because success is already yours. And we have a great show today. We have a very interesting individual, which I would say all of our guest experts are interesting individuals and come from incredible backgrounds. He comes from the belief system that life is lived from the inside out and success is reaching the inside out. And people think too many people think and have that belief system that it's the other way around. He lives his life by his own design. He's never settled a day in his life. He has an incredible past. He has stories that you're going to go, Whoa, What? Which makes it really relatable to each and every one of us. And he found great success in business and is able has able to move into entrepreneurship. And now he is coaching people. He is sought out by people globally, all around the world. He's been featured on TV and magazines and he's been featured in People You Should Know magazine. He has a very unique gift of foresight and he has fun in being his fearless self. And he has a program that's called Live Life by Design, where he trains to build confidence and wealth. He is a lifestyle business coach and he starts with a mindset and I am super honored and happy to announce that Steve is with us here today on the Success Pattern show. Welcome, Steve.

Steve Ek:
Oh, thank you for that introduction. Oh my gosh. You know what? That sound is so great. I want to meet me. Yeah.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
I know. You should meet you. He's a good guy. He's a great guy. So, Steve, you're a coach. Yes. Did you when you finished high school and that's an assumption on my part that you finished high school. But when you end at school, at some point, did you decide that, oh, I'm going to be a coach?

Steve Ek:
No, no. When I got out of school as a young man, I had no future. I literally had no future. And I actually thought, well, maybe I'll just be homeless or something, you know, on the beach. Kind of a cool life. My dad used to call me scared because he said, You're going to end up on Skid Row. And the only place that I thought would ever take me on to hire me as a job is in a towel factory where my job was to tape boxes together for $3.25 an hour. And I struggle with literacy. I was using drugs, and honestly, I didn't have a future that that place would have automated my job. But it was cheap. It's cheaper to pay me to take boxes together. And it was a miserable job and it was my one of my greatest drivers looking back is how much I realized life was going to be a problem. It was going to be a big problem if I didn't do something about it.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
How long until you decided something's got to give? What happened?

Steve Ek:
So I come to wit's end. I had to quit. It was miserable. I saw these people going in the factory every day, thinking their lives are over. I can't do this. And I said to my dad, I'm quitting. He said, No, don't quit. So I quit the next day. And I didn't have another job lined up, but it didn't matter because I knew that that wasn't going to get me anywhere. And I knew that I had to become a better reader, learn how to read. I knew the drugs were not going to help me in life. So it took a while. It probably took at least another three years before I was off drugs and I read my first book cover to cover by the time I was 23.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
So what was that book? What did you.

Steve Ek:
Read? The 16th round by Rubin Carter.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
What was the takeaway? Do you remember what you felt reading that book?

Steve Ek:
A sense of accomplishment. And I chose that book on purpose because Reuben wrote it while he was in prison and he wasn't highly educated. And I did struggle and he wrote it. He didn't have a ghostwriter. So I thought he writes like I speak. So it was going to be a comfortable book. I actually chose that book for that purpose. You know, I'm not a big boxing fan. But that was a good book to start with.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
He he he was relatable.

Steve Ek:
To very relatable. So it was I was very comfortable in reading it.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
I wonder. There are so many questions I have, and I'm going to start with this question first. I wonder how many people just don't even take the first step because they're so intimidated.

Steve Ek:
By.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
Other people. Oh, he wrote a book. But he but it was relatable because, a, apparently he, you know, wrote as he as as you're speaking and you having the knowledge that he wrote it while he was in prison made it more relatable or what else was there?

Steve Ek:
No, that was it. It was just that relatable that I thought, he's not a writer. He's a guy that writes down what he says and he speaks like me so great I can read it. I wouldn't be intimidated by big words or things that I couldn't understand. So look, but honestly, my whole life, I just hit everything head on.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
So, okay, because I already that was one of my questions. I hear that there's somewhat of a resistance to your dad and maybe to authority altogether. Right. And, and it seems like now, looking back, has that served you?

Steve Ek:
Yeah, it wasn't so much of a resistance as it was OC my relationship with my father, who had recently passed. My father had lived his whole life in fear. I saw him afraid of people. He was a smaller person. He wasn't very big and he was afraid of big people. And he's afraid of taking chances. He's afraid of going. And I saw this as a teenager, and I thought to myself, Here's somebody that's not going after what they want in life. So for me to do it, I have to be the opposite. I have to become fearless. And to do that, I have to hit things head on. And I don't care what's coming. I mean, through my life when I say hit things head on, I do things that aren't very comfortable. I've confronted people and people have said, Well, what if they punch you? And I'm like, Well, then they punch me. What do you want me to do? Like, this needs to be addressed. And so my whole life, I've never I just hit things head on. I've never been afraid. Like, I know I shouldn't say that. I've totally been afraid. I totally feel it. But I never stopped. I'm like, I can crawl up into a ball and. But what good will that do me? Or I can just go after it.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
So you snap out of it?

Steve Ek:
Mm hmm. Oh, I, I. Now, at this point in my life, I can't go too many days without feeling the butterflies in my stomach. It means I'm taking it easy. I always have to have the butterfly feeling. Or the stomach is just a little without it. I feel uncomfortable.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
Mm hmm. So you made that uncomfortable feeling? A comfort. Feeling?

Steve Ek:
Exactly.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
What a great reframe.

Steve Ek:
Oh, my relationship with fear is I have to feel it. It's a good thing for me. And I've been telling people that there's not a bad thing. It means you're stretching. It means you're getting out of your comfort zone. It means you're going in a direction you've never been. You know, and I laugh because sometimes when I don't feel that one of my favorite things to do is jump from a height just so I could feel the fear.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
Mm hmm. What's your favorite jumping from? From a height.

Steve Ek:
From, like, just any height. You know, like, I will jump off of a roof. You know, like, it sounds crazy, but. I have to feel the butterflies.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
When you when you say you snap out of it. Right. You you, you come to a point. There are people that are feeling sorry for themselves or they're stuck in a negative mindset or whatever the stuffiness may be. How does one just snap out of it?

Steve Ek:
I don't know. I can't remember the last time I sat there and felt sorry for myself. Mm hmm. I don't. You know what? I don't have bad days. I might have a bad 5 minutes. But then you just go, Wow, you know what? That was really kind of crappy. What can I do about it? And the answers are really simple. Either, Hey, can I control that situation? No. Then fine. Then let it go. So that's how you snap out of it. Can I control it? Yes. Then control it. Can I control it? No. Then snap out and get rid of it. If I can't control it, it's not in my life.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
So that's a good that's a good test question. Can I control it? If it's not in my control, then might as well move on.

Steve Ek:
Right. I don't. I don't worry about anything.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
Mm hmm. The as you're coaching and you're helping others, other people to snap out of it, it's it's not just that you have snapped out of it yourself. You have helped, I would say hundreds of thousands of people snap out of it, including people that you've worked with in your own businesses. You've built business, you've sold businesses. Talk to us about that and your your learnings through that.

Steve Ek:
You know, what I learned is, first of all, I meet people where they're at. I understand that everyone's like me. And that's the first thing I have to realize. And if somebody is not like me, I look what fears are they feeling and why are they feeling? And I get them to recognize that, you know, say it out loud and they can hear it for themselves. And then I go, okay, let's pretend that happened. Whatever you're afraid of, let's pretend that happened. Now we're on the other side of it. What's life going to look like? You know what? Let's say you're afraid of failure. Afraid of opening a business for fear. You're going to go out of business. Let's pretend we're already out of business. What do you think is going to happen? Are people going to laugh at you? No, nobody's going to laugh at you. Are people going to reach out to you because they maybe feel bad for you or they have sympathy? At least you tried. It probably is your spouse or somebody's going to give you a big hug. Absolutely. You know, so let's get on the other side of whatever you're afraid of and let's see what that looks like and let's see if it's as bad as you think it is.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
Mm hmm. So it comes back to a mindset of what do you think it's going to be, not what it is truly, realistically, but what? Because sometimes our mind plays us a trick, what we think it is. But that's not necessarily the reality.

Steve Ek:
Correct. And people are just paralyzed by fear. Hmm. And I'm like, okay, let's pretend it already happened. Are we still paralyzed?

Brigitta Hoeferle:
Mm hmm. Gets. Gets them into action.

Steve Ek:
Right, Exactly. Exactly.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
You know, because we're looking at success patterns often we have already success patterns. Each individual people that you work with, that you that you coach, that you build businesses with. They already have success patterns, but they got really good at misusing their success pattern and and manipulated it. And now it's not a success pattern anymore. Have you seen that in the past?

Steve Ek:
I see that. So you've nailed it. People will get to their success. They will reach. They'll take their pattern. They'll get to it. Success, success. And they plateau. Or they'll take a turn and go lateral, because I don't most of the time, what what I found is people don't believe they can continue to take that pattern to to new heights. It's like there's a thousand story staircase and they're comfortable going up 77 stories, and then for some reason they stop. They've taken that same pattern. They've walked up the stairs and they just leveled off because they never believed they can go further. So the belief is stopping them. They know what to do to get there. They have the pattern. They don't believe they can go further.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
And do you think that belief. If say, they go the 7077. Often. And I've just had this conversation with one of my clients today. There they go into a mindset of overwhelm of know I can't climb more because they're looking at the whole rest of the staircase and not to the 78th floor or then the 79th floor. Right. We try to I think as humans, we try to do it all at once. It's not done all at once.

Steve Ek:
Oh, no. Its success is found daily. You know what you do every single day. Everything either moves you forward towards success or backwards away. There is no neutral momentum. So success is in your actions every single day.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
Will you say that again? That was deep.

Steve Ek:
So everything you do either moves you forward towards success or backwards away from it. There is no neutral momentum. Everything you do every day moves you towards it or away. Mm hmm. You know, there's no neutral. Not even sleep is neutral. Either you're getting good sleep or you're not. You know, either you're getting bad sleep and it's holding you back from being healthy or you're getting good sleep and going towards the day. Energetic sleep is neutral.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
That was that was, I think, the biggest nugget that I heard you say so far today. And I know that you've brought many, Jim. Jim Rowan is known for saying that success is a numbers game. And Brian Tracy is known for saying that success is a people's game. Which one is it?

Steve Ek:
Enlighten us. Okay, so I'm going to give you the Steve Eck. Yes. Is a lifestyle. It's got nothing to do with wealth when I mean lifestyle. And I'm talking about cars and boats and houses and money and clothing. Successful people know how to be successful regardless of the direction they're going. They know that when an obstacle is going to get in their way, they have to overcome it. They also understand that there's always going to be obstacles. There's always going to be naysayers, there's always going to be people. You are going to tell you you can't do it. Successful people know that, but they also know that it's up to them. To do it. It's successful people. And here's your next nugget. It's never about resources. It's always about being resourceful. It's not about people go, Oh, I can't do that. I don't have the money. Money's a resource. I'm sorry, That's external. How resourceful are you? I've done a lot of deals with no money of my own, and I figured out how to get it done. Maybe somebody else's money. Maybe no money. Maybe being part of it brought in because of my knowledge. So I become resourceful. That's inside Internal.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
And I read that in your bio right as we started the show today, that it is an inside job and that talk to us more about people being so focused on external intangibles and everything needs to be out there where in the beginning they should be focused on what they.

Steve Ek:
Okay, so here's the first thing I'm going to say about that is people will take what they. People will shrink. A goal or something to fit their mindset rather than expanding their mind to accept that goal. So today I was talking to somebody and I looked at an $18 Million piece of property online, and I thought to myself, Is that something that is somewhere I'd want to live? And when I talked to somebody about it, I'm going to be honest. I don't have $18 Million laying around like I check both pockets. I don't have 18 million like that. I'm just going to throw out there for a house. At least not at this moment. So I talked to somebody and they're like, Oh, I can never do that well. And I said, Not with that attitude, because the dream of an $18 million home would have been too big for his mind to accept. And I said, Why don't you? He goes, Oh, I was looking at places for like under 300,000. He would like an 18 million, but he shrunk the dream to fit the mind rather than expanding the mind to accept the dream. He never said, What would it take to live in an $18 million home? Instead, he said, Oh, I can never do that. Here's my limit.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
Here. He already made up his mind.

Steve Ek:
Mm hmm. So that's it? He's on. He's on floor number 77.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
And probably will be fine eventually being on floor 50.

Steve Ek:
Yeah. He'll get there. Hey, you're moving forward or backwards?

Brigitta Hoeferle:
Mm hmm.

Steve Ek:
Mm hmm. You can walk down the stairs as well.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
And I think that there's a pattern that when people are trying to move forward and then they're like, oh, it's hard, or hmm, it takes effort, or maybe I don't have the resources. As you just said, they are going backwards.

Steve Ek:
So absolutely. You know what? When people say, well, that's hard, I'm like, Yeah, it's hard.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
To choose.

Steve Ek:
Right? I'm not going to lie to you. It's hard to do the work.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
Mm hmm.

Steve Ek:
Everything's hard. If it's easy, everyone would have done it. And we don't even have to. You know, it's easy learning how to walk like we've all learned how to walk. It was hard at one time, but babies don't give up. They don't have limits. Children of that age don't know what a limit is. That's how they're able to walk. Go look at you. You're walking. That's pretty easy. It wasn't always easy. You can do it. You just you just now accepted the limits that you can't do that as hard. I can't do that. And that's what you live by.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
Do you think it's a decision that one one makes at some particular time of this is this takes effort, right? Instead of saying heart, we can just say this takes effort. Are you willing to put in the effort? Is that a decision? Is that a choice?

Steve Ek:
That is a decision. So I guess I've been fortunate. Now, given my my past away, I was brought up with my parents and I love them both. They both had passed, but. I learned at an early age, I was fortunate. Most of our limits come from how we brought up. Most of our limits occur before the age of seven or eight. And I looked at my parents and said, In my lifetime, I will do the exact opposite of you. I see all the failures in them. You know, it's not to say I didn't love them. I see all the failures. And so whatever you do, I will do the opposite. Where most people learn that pattern from their parents and carried on and give it to their kids. I saw my parents and I saw the mistakes. I saw the shortcomings, I saw the failures and said, I can't do that. So whatever I've learned from you, I will now do the opposite.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
And isn't that interesting because you're talking about the imprint phase that we go through from age zero or even before we were born up to age around six or seven, that we either we have we're choosing even as we're choosing our subconscious chooses or we're following the same lead that our parents are modeling or are we doing a complete 180 and going the opposite direction?

Steve Ek:
Absolutely. I took a 180. Mm hmm. You know what I remember as a kid? Like people making fun of my dad or saying something like that, and my dad doing nothing about it. And I thought, Oh, hell no. You know, And as a kid, I couldn't understand why he did nothing. And I said, Are you kidding? This is not how I'm going to live. I can't live like this.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
It sparked that who you are today.

Steve Ek:
Mm hmm. Oh, absolutely. I would not trade my past for anything if I had the opportunity to do it over again. I would not change a thing, not that it was anything glamorous and there was nothing great, but it made me who I am.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
Yeah. Yeah. Giving gratitude for all of the shit that one's. That one goes through shapes you when you make that choice into who you are today.

Steve Ek:
Absolutely. I'm going to share a little something. I don't get out of bed in the morning. I wake up and I lay in bed and I pay gratitude to everybody and everything in my life. And I don't get out of bed until I'm done. The first day I did that, I popped out of bed in about 20 seconds. Right? I'm thankful for these three people. Bam! I'm out of bed. I can lay there now for 30 minutes. 40 minutes. Reflecting on gratitude. I don't put my foot on the floor until I am so grateful for everything I have and everybody in my life.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
That's beautiful. Yeah. Thank you for that. That's a success pattern all in itself. Oh, because that's what I think. That's what it starts out with, doesn't it?

Steve Ek:
It does. I don't. I've never had a bad morning. Mm hmm. How could that way? I've never had a bad day. I've had plenty of bad 5 minutes. I've had plenty of bad conversations or phone calls, but nothing past that.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
Because it's a choice.

Steve Ek:
You choose the choice you choose.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
Now, you've dropped so many incredible ideas, nuggets, belief systems, success patterns. And I know that there are people watching us, listening to us that say, I like this Steve guy. I want to talk to him. How you first of all, you brought us something, didn't you?

Steve Ek:
Why did you bring. So I coach and I'm going to tell you right now, if I coach you, you're going to be successful. I take it more serious than most people take their own success. So I'm offering free a 30 minute coaching session. Just go to Steve slash contact and it says, Have a conversation, click on it. It'll bring up a calendar and book it. I mean, does it get any easier than that? And just book it. I'm available.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
Yeah. You guys go to Steve ec. That's Steve e. E k dot com slash contact and then fill out the form, send it over to Steve and his team and get a strategy call. It's totally free and do it. Absolutely do it. I've met Steve in LA a few weeks ago. Well, yeah, it's been a few weeks. It was last year, but it's still a few weeks. And the success that he's had in his businesses and just the the ground itself that he is just get with him. It is it's absolutely in German. We have a word that's called Brian. It is a you're going to be wealthy just by knowing Steve. So Steve, thank you for for that and thank you for bringing that gift. How do folks get in touch with you? How do they follow you, like on social or website? How do people get in touch with you?

Steve Ek:
You Well, Steve, across social media, again, I'm pretty sure I'm the only Steve like you just on Facebook. Look up Steve at Instagram. Steve ec official. Steve Yeah, that's where you're going to find me.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
And so if people just Google Steve, you're going to, you're going to come.

Steve Ek:
Up and you put. Steve I'm going to come up. There's not a lot of walking on the earth.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
That looked like you especially, you.

Steve Ek:
Know, I have my hair pulled back because it's more of my professional, but I do have my long dreadlocks.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
Yeah, he's got great hair, you guys, when you meet him, he's got great hair.

Steve Ek:
Running back for this interview. But yes, I do have long dreadlocks.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
Fantastic. Steve, I can't wait for folks to get in touch with you. Thank you for being on the success pattern show. What is what what is one nugget that you want to part with today?

Steve Ek:
So I'm going to tell everyone right now, there is no limits to where you can live. You can live life by design. I live when people see my life. They're always like, Wow, that's incredible and I wish I could live like that. You can. You are no limits. You know, I live an amazing, incredible life. And you can, too.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
That's right. With that being said, Steve, thank you for being here. Thank you for sharing your incredible knowledge and care with the world, guys. Get with Steve, Steve, Steve. And then his last name is E K. It doesn't get any simpler than that. Tune in again next week, same time, same place on Tuesday at 430 for the Success Patterns Show. Until then, talk to you. See you next week. Thank you for tuning in to the success pattern show at www.TheSuccessPatternsShow.com My name is Brigitta Hoeferle.

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