Special Guest Expert - Tana Gildea: Video automatically transcribed by Sonix

Special Guest Expert - Tana Gildea: this mp4 video file was automatically transcribed by Sonix with the best speech-to-text algorithms. This transcript may contain errors.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
How many times have you said to yourself, I'm going to succeed? And yet you keep coming up short? You probably noticed that high achievers with heart do things differently, but you just can't put your finger on it. You're curious about why high achievers accomplish more and have more satisfying relationships. It's because success is the result of your mindset and the consistent actions you take. This show is designed with your success in mind by revealing these powerful patterns of our dynamic individuals and guest experts, you can model what they do and apply it to your future success. Now let's roll up our sleeves and get started. My name is Brigitta Hoeferle and this is the Success Patterns Show. And happy Tuesday, everyone. Happy life, everyone. This is the success Pattern Show where we bring you the golden nuggets. Hear me out. Success patterns are more valuable than ideas. That's right. I said it. Let me explain. Ideas, while very powerful, require trial and error. A lot of time to put into action. Just think about manufacturing. First you have this idea. Then you go into a proof of concept. Then you create a working prototype. Then you go into small production batches and then finally you go maybe into full scale production. This takes months, maybe even years. And you may have met some people who are collectors of great ideas, but they do little else. Forget everything you learned about ideas. You're not looking for ideas. You are looking for success patterns. Success patterns are different in success. Patterns are better. Why? Well, first of all, they're proven have a logical sequence of steps to follow, have an action imperative and deliver consistent results. In today's success Pattern Content rich program, you're going to learn valuable success patterns because today is all about the money, money, money. But actually it's not. So let me give you a little bit more insight. We have a financial advisor, author and speaker who's passionate about helping people understand and explore the emotional side of money. In addition to the logical and the practical side, she loves working with the up and coming clients, helping them set and set up and work toward financial goals makeshifts of their situation, whatever they're in, and serve as a financial guide as they develop their holistic financial plan. She also has a large contingent of clients that are on the other side of life's journey who are perhaps suddenly single and need some extra help to transition to this new normal and learn some new financial skills as they manage the retirement phase of life. So regardless of life stage. Our guest expert is an incredible and willing partner for anyone looking to come to find financial peace of mind. Her name is Tanya Gilday and I am so excited that she is here with us today. Hey, Tanya, thanks for being here.

Tana Gildea:
Hey, thanks for having me. I'm so excited to chat with you. Yeah.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
Same here. So so money. You know, when when we look at just the Or even let's let's let's let go of the word money. But just finances can be a very, uh, maybe dry, maybe very head spacey kind of topic. But we're not going to make that today, are we?

Tana Gildea:
No.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
So I love what you wrote in your bio that I just read that you help people understand and that's your passion and exploring the emotional side of money. Yeah. Tell me more about the emotional side of money. What does that look like?

Tana Gildea:
Well, if you think about it, money is really energy. How do we get money? We turn our physical labor. If I'm a dishwasher or a gardener or something like that, I'm taking my physical labor as well as my knowledge and skills. And in return for me putting forth that energy, I get money back. So it's just a trade off of energy. We just do it in the form of dollar bills. Now, back in the old days, we would trade a carrot for a pig or whatever, you know, kind of barter system was there. But we've just exchanged that for money. So money is energy and we have a lot of weight to that energy in our society because we're very focused on success and the the trappings of success, the cars, the houses, the clothes, all of those types of things. So so it is a very emotional topic. We don't like to talk about money struggles. We like to show money, success that everything is easy and comes to us. But that creates a lot of underlying issues that come up, especially when you think about how children learn about money. It's not through practical application. It's the emotions of how the adults talk about money. So for an example, credit card bill, a little child does not know what a credit card is, know what a bill is. But if the credit card bill arrives and there's a fight and somebody's yelling and somebody's crying, that leaves an imprint that now that is associated with that, or maybe money is a taboo topic in your home and it's never discussed in front of the children. Well, what does that communicate? What is the energy of of that type of a topic? So we go through life picking up all these messages at a time when we don't understand what's kind of being imprinted. So there's a lot going on as we then become adults and start in that transactional. I'm trading my time, energy and skills for money and all of the the things that are associated with that.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
Yeah mean, you said you used the word imprinted, and that's truly when our children are zero to age seven, that's the imprint phase. And, and, and whatever we're experiencing as children in that moment, we're being imprinted and finances are are a part of that. May it be may it be very cognizant of the parents that are doing it or probably most of the time I would say not. Right.

Tana Gildea:
Right. They're just doing what they learned, what their parents did, repeating the messages and the patterns that their parents instilled on them or whatever important adults were in their world. And we don't often consciously think about those messages and how we're communicating it. Take, for example, we're at the store and my child says, I want a bag of cookies. And I might just say, trying to get away from it or we can't afford that, or that's too expensive. That may not be the case. It's an easy out as a parent versus, Oh, you should eat broccoli instead of cookies. And I don't want to get into all that. It's just easier to say, Oh, it's too expensive. But now you've just sent a message about our status, our family, who can afford what? Like there's a lot of stuff going on in that kind of message that's not intended. It's not at all intended, but we just repeat the things that our parents said.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
That that our parents said or that society says. I want to come back to that in a second. You you use the word weight. And I literally felt it heavy on my shoulders, but I also felt it in my body. Is there a correlation of not being a good I'm going to call it money manager or someone that has learned great money management skills that will carry that weight and it will show up in their life in other areas. Is there a correlation?

Tana Gildea:
Well, I think any time there's an emotional connection with something, if you make a mistake or if you have regrets or if you don't feel like you are as successful or as wealthy or as far ahead as you should be or as your neighbors or as your siblings or as your parents or as people expect you to be. Then you create all of these emotional ties. And that might be fear. It might be shame, it might be guilt. If I consistently spend more and have racked up some debt, then there might be a lot of guilt, especially if I am hiding that from friends or a spouse or partner. So there's a lot of things in there and we're just not a very open society in talking about money in general and about struggles. You know, people struggle with overspending. We do a lot with money when we don't want to deal with unpleasant emotions. So as an example, someone loses a spouse. It is very common for the spending to start getting out of control because you're filling a hole that cannot be filled. But our society says the bright, shiny things should bring us happiness. A new car, a new purse, new shoes. Go spend, take a trip. And so that is a common response to loss is trying to fill the hole. And then you spend too much. And then what comes from that? You feel guilty, you feel shame, and then you feel fear. Well, wait, what if I don't have enough and I've just screwed up? I just overspent. So we we can get into all of these different aspects where what we do with our money shows up in a lot of other ways in our life and in our emotions. And then if it's in our emotion, it's in our body.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
Right, Exactly. I think I two things just came together and we're going to talk about your book in a second. But while you were talking, I was thinking about this book, Power versus Force and in Power versus Force. Dr. Hawkins has the map of consciousness, the lowest energy vibrational levels. And you just made the claim that money is energy. It's nothing but that, right? Yeah, it is. Everything. It money is energy. Energy. And as Albert Einstein said, everything is energy. We're all energy, right? Yeah. Um, everything is one thing, and that is energy. So guilt, fear, shame are these are the lowest vibrations. So when we have guilt, shame, fear around money, then first of all, you know, that doesn't that doesn't invite more in. That just invites more guilt and fear and shame.

Tana Gildea:
Right. And that and that closes you down. Because when we're feeling guilty or feeling ashamed or feeling fearful, there's literally like a closing up. You know, you think of being afraid, you curl up in a ball, there is a closing. And if you want more energy coming in, you need to have an openness. And that openness is not just the physical openness, but it is an emotional openness because you know, right away when someone is needy, right, there is an energy, whether they're emotionally needy or physically needy or always after something, you feel that neediness. And the same thing, if we get in that that smaller space, those lower vibrations, other people can feel it. If you go into a job interview thinking, I have to have it, I this is the most important thing in the world. You go in like this and that is not how you communicate your skills, your excitement about working and your excitement about the company and the people. That is a totally different level of energy. And so if you think about what do I want to try to attract that energy, it has to be at the higher levels.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
Yeah, right. Yeah. Desperation is never a good look, but so there's good news when we know on where we don't want to vibrate on. Then we also know where we do want to vibrate on to to attract that. Now, all of that, I'm going to speak to the skepticism because one of my great mentors back in the day said, speak to the skepticism before it speaks to all of that. Sounds very woo woo, but it's not. Why is it not?

Tana Gildea:
It's not because it's the way that you show up in the world. So let me give you an example. If you are a business owner and you are sitting down with the prospect to discuss your product or service, if you go into that feeling excited about what you do, feeling passionate about helping the person in front of you, the prospect that's sitting there seeking your help, you have a very different energy than if you walk in thinking, I have to close. The sale. My whole life, my whole business depends on closing this sale. That is a very different interaction. And the other person is going to feel that difference. So yes, it's it sounds woo woo, but it is all about how you're approaching life. If you're approaching life with curiosity and interest and passion versus this neediness, um, it just you show up different, you behave differently, you interact differently with the person and you're more focused on them. If you are curious about what they need, willing and able and excited about helping them, that's a very different way to go into that conversation than thinking, I need a sale, I need a sale. I need a sale now you're on me, me, me and everybody can feel that difference. And so, you know, it's shifting out again out of this desperation. I need I need into this. I want to give I want to see what the other person needs. I want to value and service. Yes. And it doesn't matter. You don't have to be a business owner. You can be an employee walking into your company. How can I serve my fellow coworkers? How do I improve the company? How do I make this better? How do I do my job more efficiently? Having all of those things will lead you to more money because you're giving more. You're bringing a value and enthusiasm and excitement to whatever position you are, whether you work at Walmart or whether you're the CEO of the biggest company in the world. If you bring that servant mentality and the excitement about making things better for everyone around you, then that will ultimately translate into financial success. It it has to.

Tana Gildea:
You've already given the energy, you've put out the energy. And it's it's got to come back to you. And it doesn't necessarily mean that day, that minute, oh, I did this great thing for my boss. Where's my gift card? Where's my bonus? Where's my raise? It's the long game. It's how you approach the world and it's how you approach your own financial life of being open to just these are the facts. Don't attach all of this weight to what your balance sheet looks like. Hey, these are the facts. This is where I am. If I don't like where I am, I need to go do some things, take some actions to move me in a different direction. And it doesn't have to be this big emotional, drama filled, guilt ridden kind of thing. It's zooming out and taking the emotion out of it. But in order to do that, you have to recognize the emotion that's already in you. Yeah, and you have to kind of own it and you have to listen to it. Where do I feel guilt? Why do I feel that guilt and have a shine, a curiosity light on it instead of a judgment light and then understand it better.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
And.

Tana Gildea:
You can do something different about it.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
So curiosity, rather judgment. That's that that's a big, big piece right there. So I have the million dollar question, Tana, why is this not being taught in school?

Tana Gildea:
Oh, gosh. That gets into a whole big can of worms about how we change the educational system. So there's lots and lots of things that need to be changed, I think, in our educational system. But the beauty is we each individually have the power to help everybody that we come in contact with to have a healthier relationship with money, to recognize that it's not all about what you have, it's what you can give. And it's it is absolutely important to take responsibility for caring for yourself, protecting yourself, being able to navigate through life. Because on planet Earth, money matters. We need homes, we need food. It's not I'm not trying to pretend like it's not important. It is important. It's not the most important thing. But we there is a way to be responsible and respectful and care for yourself financially without running roughshod over everyone in your path, you know, without trying to be manipulative and deceitful and and use trickery. It's by being honest about your own situation, your own needs, and differentiating between what do I need, truly need versus what do I want versus what does society tell me I should want? And that's where we have a big, big issue is, you know, all the media is constantly saying, I should want a designer this and a high class that. And oftentimes that doesn't really bring a lot of joy. We have to make enough and and support ourselves and have a comfortable life where we feel safe and secure. But we need to be able to step back and go, do I really need that? Do I really? Is that the best use of the money I have? Yeah.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
I always say, ask yourself, for what purpose do you want that? What are you going to do with that? With what intention? Now, you did write a book.

Tana Gildea:
I did write a book.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
What's the book called?

Tana Gildea:
The book is called The Graduate's Guide to Money. And this is everything I wish I had known when I was in my 20s and learned in my 40s and beyond. And I've always wanted to be a writer. I've always wanted to write a book. And when I got into financial planning in my 40s, it was like this light bulb went off and I was like, Oh, everybody needs to know this. And I also put in a lot of things besides the practical of how do taxes work and what's insurance and cash flow and paying down debt and all of those, you know, kind of nuts and bolts aspects of personal finance. But I also shared my own discovery about money story and how important understanding my own money story was to me being able to sit down and take stock of my financial situation, take responsibility for it, understand why I did the things that I did, um, and, and drill down into some of the messages and the things that, you know, from my childhood that I had a wonderful childhood. But there were messages that I got that I picked up that were not serving me well and I needed to understand those. So the first chapter is all about money story. The last chapter is all about avoiding money mistakes. So I completely throw out the dirty laundry. Everybody can see all the stupid, you know, things that I did with money. The money mistakes that I made. And I share that because we need to not feel so guilty and ashamed about that. Um, we can't do better if we don't know better. And, you know, it's just part of learning. It's just part of learning. Everybody's going to make some mistakes. Everybody's going to do some things that they regret best. Laid plans. And you're like, Oh man, that just did not go the way I thought it was going to go. But rather, again, we got to stop beating ourselves over the head about it and just be curious. What could I learn from that? What did that teach me? That was a valuable lesson. Instead of, Oh, you're such an idiot. I mean, that's how we talk to ourselves, right?

Tana Gildea:
You're such an idiot. I can't believe you're so stupid. Um, no. Step back and go. Oh, that's interesting. When in the past have I done that? Because you talk about patterns. We repeat those money patterns, the mistakes over and over and over until we learn the lesson. And you have to learn. You have to forgive yourself for having done some of those things. And then you start identifying what are the little habits I can put in place that will move me in the direction I want to go, because you never can can do the big grand gesture. You've got to find the little teeny things that you can repeat day after day after day, dollar after dollar after dollar. And I heard an interesting thing once that made me stop and think, If you want to be a millionaire, you need $1 million. Which dollar makes you a millionaire? You need all of them. You need dollar, $1, $10,000 100,000. You need all those dollars. So let's not think, Oh, I need a million. Let's think. Let me start with one. Let me start with one. And all the little things will get you where you want to go. Because as you start doing things well and as you start fulfilling your own promises to yourself, I promise I will cut out this thing and put this money in my bank account or pay this money on my debt, and you start doing it. You start seeing success and you start seeing accumulation and you start feeling really good at your about yourself. And then we're shifting that energy from I'm such a screw up and I can't do this and I don't have any money and I have too much debt. You start seeing, well, I can change it. I have the power to change it. But the only way we can change it is one little step at a time. You can't get $1 million overnight. You just can't. You have to just be willing to do one, one, one, one. And it's the consistency and the repeating that builds you up, that creates the success pattern, makes you feel better about yourself.

Tana Gildea:
And then when you have a misstep, you have to respond with curiosity. Because if you just respond with curiosity, instead of getting the stick and beating yourself, then it's a different kind of energy coming in. Hmm. That's interesting. Every time I drop my child off at college, I go to the bookstore and I buy a bunch of junk that I don't want or need. Why do I do that? Is there an emotional component to why I overspend at the college bookstore when I'm dropping off my child for college? Bing, bing, bing. The light goes on and you make a plan for next time. Okay, I see what I'm doing. Next time I go, I'm taking a $20 bill and I'm buying one little thing and that's it. You know? So that's just an example of how we can analyze things, figure out what's going on, find that underlying pattern, because it's all so unconscious, right. Everything we're doing. We're we're kind of compelled to do it. But we don't always understand why why are we doing that? And so part of the money story is like, take a step back and let's feel what you feel in your body and and let that be some guidance and some clues to what's going on and what's your story. What is that money story that you picked up, you know, along the way? And then you can dissect it. And and it's just by understanding and being aware of it helps to start to break the pattern for sure.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
It starts with that awareness. And and I appreciate the story of the parent that's going to college to drop off their child because when you showed your book show, you show your book again to us, please. When you showed your book, I was like this book. Not one, not two, but ten need to be in every university, library, college, library, high school library that we. So I'm going to start a movement. And I will say everyone that's watching buy the book and next time you drop your child off at any school, put that book in the school library. I think that would be a really, really good deed.

Tana Gildea:
I love it. I love it.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
Great deed. Um, before I let you go for today, I know people have gotten so much information and very valuable information from you today and it might have sparked some some thoughts of, you know, me personally. I grew up in Germany and we learned me growing up in Germany, that money does not is not found on the street. And that is a German saying like, you know, here we say money doesn't grow on trees. Yeah. In Germany we say the money's not found on the streets. And you know what? It's funny and interesting and I'm flabbergasted every time because I have a big, big, big jar in our kitchen and it is filled with coins because there's not one day that I go walk the dog that I do not find money on our streets when I walk.

Tana Gildea:
So so I'm totally.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
Debunking that whole thing that that I have learned when I was a child.

Tana Gildea:
You're just attracting it to yourself.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
I'm attracting it. Every time I pick it up, I say, thank you, thank you, thank you.

Tana Gildea:
Yeah. Because you're grateful and you're appreciative and it doesn't have to be $1 million. It can be a penny.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
It look and you know what? That penny and those quarters and those there's some bills in there they have all accumulated and they're they're sitting there in this jar every day to be reminded of how grateful I am and how grateful as a family we are to have what we have. And I think it does start with that that sentiment of gratitude. How do people get in touch with you?

Tana Gildea:
Well, my website, so I work for Hallmark Berg. I'm a financial advisor with Hallmark Berg so they can go to the website Hallmark berg.com. You can see my bio, you can reach out and call that number. My email is gilda@hallmark.com, so you can certainly reach me that way. You can also reach me on LinkedIn. So if you want to send me a message via LinkedIn, connect with me, let me know that you heard me on the show and I would be happy to answer questions or whatever you need at that standpoint. I'll also give away a couple of books. I don't have the ability to give away Amazon books, although it is on Kindle Unlimited. So if you are a Kindle Unlimited person, you can download it and read it free. But the first three people that messaged me on LinkedIn, I need your physical mailing address and I promise I'm not coming to your house, but I will mail you a copy of my book for three people. So tap, tap, tap away and I will send you.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
Quick, quick, head over to LinkedIn. It's very easy to find 10 or 10 a day to and a g. I l. D. E. A g. I l. E a is the last name. Jenna, thank you for being here. Thank you for bringing great information, great emotional, charged information that we can all use and we can all adapt and make our our stories a better story.

Tana Gildea:
Yes. And it's very possible. And I really hope that at least one person had a little light bulb moment and is going to be able to do things a little bit differently tomorrow. So thank you so much for having me. I've really, really enjoyed talking with you.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
Thank you, Tana. And for everyone else, make sure that you get with Tana. Find her on LinkedIn or just simply send her an email. All of the information is going to be in the show notes. Please join in again and invite others next week, same time, same place for the Success Pattern Show. Until then. Chow. And bye for now. Thank you for tuning in and you will notice opportunities to apply success patterns daily while eagerly anticipating next week's content rich success patterns.

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