Special Guest Expert - Wayne Nance: Video automatically transcribed by Sonix

Special Guest Expert - Wayne Nance: this eJwdj8FugkAQhl-FzKEnlC6gtSSm0cS0emjaIrE3slkG3HTZpbuzUGN894LXmW--_58rCKMJNZV06RAy2EAIUjviWmApK8iS5HHF0pSFILwj03qH9r6Il2yZLuIQuBDGj4Y7vXpesKcQaomqKjVvJ2ctFY7an4HbxkF2BW_VOD4TdS6LomEY5o0xjULeSTcXpo0qK3uM-jiaTl3E8ONtz7bbPeuTfuZ2B3ks8uP3ocg_N6vz6ev3hStat1hJ_uCMtwLXlRm0MrwqxqgQSJKamuQdCslV8OrRUbD769BSMAtO_KIxeJ9-HuHa2JbTSLddCrfbP494YOU:1oLnzT:Mu2sNLY9avWlnXissxbuxjcsWRA video file was automatically transcribed by Sonix with the best speech-to-text algorithms. This transcript may contain errors.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
Here's the big question. How is it that most entrepreneurs hustle and are always busy and struggle to take just one step forward, only to fall two steps back their dedicated, determined and driven, but only a few finally break through and win. This show uncovers those quantum leap patterns of highly successful people so you can simply model what they do and apply to your future success. That's the question, and the answers are right here. My name is Bridget and this is the Success Pattern Show. And that is right. Welcome everyone to the Success Pattern Show. My name is Brigitta Hoeferle. I am honored and excited to be here with you as we put the do in Learn, Do Teach and the founder of the Success Pattern Movement and the CEO of the Center of NLP. And what we're here to do is create a momentum of attitude and a momentum of attitude towards success. Because can we agree that success is an interesting thing? Success is defined by each individual success seeker, if you will, and it's not limited to either business or personal life. I would even say that success in business might bleed over in a very good way into personal life and vice versa. Success is modeled in patterns, in strategies, in behavior, and in this show we are decoding and showing you how you can become aware of your patterns and decode them and perhaps even exchange some parts within that pattern so you can then encode them for your own success. So success starts right here in this show because it doesn't start with the doing. Although we put the learn, the do and learn do teach, it starts with your mindset. And as humans, we are hardwired for hands on application by living teachers because can we agree that theoreticians, they just walk a good or talk a good game, but not really walk the walk. So in the show with our guest experts, we are giving you those success laws and it's different every week. It is fun every week. I'm excited that success is already yours and I'm excited for you to learn about and learn from our guest expert this week. Today's a great show. We have an incredible man here who is a wealth of knowledge and is the is a very wise man.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
So if you have something to write with and something to write on, I would say get that out now because you want to take notes. We're going to talk about the three minute difference today and how you can make a difference in your own lives within 3 minutes. It's understanding your attitude and your belief in how that influences your choice, that influences your decisions and how we're self sabotaging. And I think I can say we're all at some point self sabotaging or going through life. We don't even realize it. We don't even know. So as an introduction to our guest expert today, I want to go a little bit into his bio and his bio talks about have you ever have you ever thought about you want a little bit of a thinner waistline or, you know, a fatter wallet, better relationships, better, more rewarding career being a greater influence as a leader, we all want that in some way, shape or fashion. And our guest today, Way Nance, has spent the last three decades teaching people exactly how to stop living life by default and learning how they can experience the real life success. So if you don't have something to write on right with, now is the time. How does he do it or how do we do it? By understanding how our attitude and our beliefs shape our choices and how stress causes the self sabotage to our own success. He's the founder and CEO of the Real Life Management and the creator of the three minute survey. So if you are sitting down somewhere, I would ask you to stand on your feet and help you welcome the one, the only, Mr. Wayne Nance. Wayne, so good to have you here. Thank you for being here.

Wayne Nance:
Hey, thank you for having me. It's great to be here with you today.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
I am. You know what I said earlier, you are a wealth of knowledge. And and as I'm reading your bio and describing it to others, three decades, I would say I would say it's more than three decades. No.

Wayne Nance:
Actually, 50 years this year it all.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
Started is 5050.

Wayne Nance:
I know with a white hair gives it away, but.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
You look very.

Wayne Nance:
Wise. I'm talking to people about their life choices or issues, so. And I had to live through it myself. So I get it.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
And that's interesting. I had a call with a client this morning and we were talking on a side note about our my own daughter, who lives now in Germany. And I said, you know, as a mom and I'm pretty sure we have lots of parents that are watching here, I give her a lot of wisdom. I give her a lot of insight, I give her a lot of mentoring. And at the end of the day, when she has to make her own choices, we all do, right?

Wayne Nance:
She does. She does. And unfortunately, our children and our friends and some of the closest people to us listen to us the least.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
Hmm. That is some real truth right here. So real life management, that is your company. Yes. And we heard a little bit, you know, self sabotage and really stepping into the life that we want to live and not just kind of live that by default. What made you go into what made you create real life management?

Wayne Nance:
Well, actually, it was my own failures when I was growing up. I was obese and then and I grew up in a family that didn't have many resources. And so but you didn't know it when you didn't have the resources. And then I grew up in a situation where I went into business, in the financial business, and I was still fighting obesity. And then I started drinking a little too much and celebrating my newfound wealth. And then I wasn't as good a husband as I should be, and then I wasn't as good a father. And so I kind of had a quad factor, meaning that I abuse finances and I was in the financial business, I abused food, drink a little too much, wasn't a good parent for a period of time in my life and wasn't a very good husband. And so I was able to fail at everything. And then one day I asked myself, Gee, I wonder if others are failing at this? And so I went through about ten years of some mentoring and coaching and counseling from some very smart people. And so when I was about 45 years old, I decided to start a company called Real Life Management because I had to believe there was some other people out there that were struggling besides me. And so we started early working with obesity, using our three minute survey and our attitude program. And then we started working with financial issues. Then we started working with marriage and parenting, and then we started working with violence and identifying violent people in today's world. So we gravitated to that along with working with corporations and hiring. And so one thing led to another. But it all started out of my failures and in the first chapter of the book I talk about it. When I go to a speech, I talk about my failures. I don't want to talk down to people. I don't want to act like I'm better than anybody or smarter than everybody. I want them to know that I'm a real guy who failed, and we have tools to help them.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
And and so real life management as many companies, they are built because there was something missing in our own lives, right? Yes. The the you mentioned a few things. You mentioned not just conflict, but but also violence and divorce and obesity and all the things that, you know, are not a thing of the past. They they continue to linger on. How did you create the three minute survey and what does the three minute survey do?

Wayne Nance:
Well, it's a very good question, and it was a long process. I worked with a personality therapist out in Canyon Ranch years ago who was very successful. And I was speaking at Canyon Ranch on our first book, Mind Over Money. And she said to me, she said, You need a personality test to go with your money, you know, teaching financial concepts of people's personality. So we studied every personality test known to man or womankind. And we also looked going back to Myers-Briggs, which was the grandfather of it, the personality test. And I told her, I said, I have a problem with this because I said, personality test seemed to me to be a little shallow. And the explanation and they don't they don't really capture something in a short time frame. I said, we don't need an hour or 2 hours or send it to the lab for results. I want something that takes less than 5 minutes to give me the results so we can get the work with people. And I want to be able to go deeper. I don't want to just talk about the personality. I want to talk about attitude at the core. And by the way, attitudes are developed by 7 to 8 years old. And so at the end of the day, I wanted something that would help you with your obesity, your money, your job, your career, your alcohol, your drug use, your parenting. And so we wanted to develop models that everything started with your attitude. The attitude is at the core. And so in 3 minutes, we finally figured out it took us 35 years of research to figure out that in 3 minutes we would know your core attitude, not by using colors and letters and all that. We do it with analytics of numbers. A typical personality test today, including all the popular ones, and I don't want to take anything away from them. They're all very good. They go for two layers deep into a person. We go 128 layers.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
So that's thorough.

Wayne Nance:
And girl, we, we do a numeric value we call attitude analytics. And it's not an x ray, it's an MRI of your attitude. And so by seven years old, your attitude is developed. You have hardwiring at birth that's given to us at birth. Then the next seven years as your parents or your grandparents or your foster home or wherever you live, they give you your soft wiring like a circuit breaker. So if we take your hard wiring and your soft wiring, we put them together. It's pretty much there. It's your core. It's the slab of your house. If you're going to build a house. So if your house is crooked or your slab is crooked, you start making you have crooked walls and crooked roof. We call the walls and the roof of a house. Your beliefs. We call the furniture, the cabinets, the carpet and the light fixture. Your life choices. Well, most corporate training has been done, and we will focus on making better choices. Or if we're getting coaching and counseling, we focus on better choices. I tell people that's too late and that's the wrong thing to look at. If the house is crooked on a crooked slab, we're going to have crooked fixtures, carpet and cabinets. So rather than to focus on the choices, I want to focus on their attitude slab and try to straighten the slab up so they don't live in a crooked house of beliefs.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
How so? Here's the here's the million dollar question. How do you make someone's house straight?

Wayne Nance:
That is the best question of the day. And here's the point. It is not an automatic issue. People say, you know, I'm 48 years old and maybe I have a drinking problem, a drug problem, or I'm having trouble with my career or my marriage. I'm on my third marriage. How do I fix it? You can't snap your fingers and fix 48 years when flab is seven years. But what we did is we develop a complete training model that has what we call alter your life at the key or the center of it. It's a 91 day program of logging and discussions and training with our coaching staff or any coaches that we've trained to use the tools so that there is a 91 day system. What we found is that 91 days is where you start to succeed. People that didn't that don't last 91 days in a structured program with us using our system typically fail. But if you go 91 days, you start to break a bad habit. People call things habits or addictions or compulsive behavior. We feel, based on all of our 50 years, 91 days will take you to a turning point.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
So 91 days, two to, I would assume, through that process. Let me come back on here so people can see me through that process. You become aware of patterns, patterns that pieces of it might support the person, but they're really not supportive now. And it comes.

Wayne Nance:
Back to your pattern. I didn't mean to talk about your patterns.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
Right? So my pattern. So you're you're becoming aware of the person that you're working with their pattern? Yes, ma'am. And and by becoming aware of the pattern. I mean, would you agree if we go with the House analogy that there are good bones in a house?

Wayne Nance:
Yes.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
And if there are good bones, we need to clean out and bring in a company that straightens the foundation like you and straightens out the attitude. I wouldn't say straighten out the attitude, but for the for this analogy, we're going to use the word straighten out. And and as you are creating, perhaps even in those 91 days, are you creating like a scaffolding? Because, you know, if you're pouring a foundation, we've all been well, I know I've been there. And Wayne, you've probably been there until it dries. You kind of want to keep it from doing this number, kind of just going here and sinking completely into the abyss. Tell me more about that process, because I find that's fascinating.

Wayne Nance:
Well, first of all, a slab is only going to be as good as the steel or the beams and the foundation put in. What happens in the first seven years of our life if we have bad teaching and we see bad things and we don't have a lot of security from the people around us and we don't have a lot of good habits we learn that's the bad steel and the bad stuff in the slab. We can't go back and recreate those years, but in the 91 day process, we try to make sure that they acknowledge their attitude and that their attitude is causing them to make bad life choices. After we get them to acknowledge that. Then we teach them what? Good steel, good concrete, good slab looks like. There's a lot of people that live 50 years and don't even know they're out of their slabs. Got a problem? They don't even want a good slab, it looks like. And so now we show what a good slab looks like. Then we come up with a tactical plan, a customized, not one size fits all, but tactical plan to their attitude, customized to their attitude. Then we come up with an execution plan for them, and then every 90 days we reevaluate it. We actually start reevaluating it the 30 day, the 60 day, the 90 day. And you see at 90 days we're not done. At 90 days, we have a plan laid out. Now you go a year, for example, everybody I used to weigh £315. Well, I had to lose £100 using the system that we use today, not a diet. So if you say if somebody says, hey, Wayne, I want to lose £10 in 90 days. That's where we're trying to set you up, a system that works for the rest of your life. I don't want you to lose £100 in 90 days. I want you to lose £100 in 12 months, because if you lose £2 a week, you'll keep it off because you've had an alteration of your lifestyle. So whether it's my career, my marriage, my weight, my money, I want something I can eat a little bit at a time every week for a year, and now I'm better. The quick fixes, the diets, the budgets, all that stuff. Those don't change your attitude. Those are just quick fixes. What we're in there doing is redoing the slab and a lot of times it'll take a year or longer. But we know 91 days gets you on the track.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
So we talked about the losing weight and the personal stuff, but also before we started our conversation online today, we had a conversation offline and you said, look, there's conflict in marriages, there's conflict in corporations. There are people sitting in responsible positions that have no business sitting there. Tell us more about that.

Wayne Nance:
Well, we use I like to use the bus seat as an analogy. Harvard did a study ten years ago, and I'm not necessarily preaching for Harvard here. I'm just saying that it was an independent study. It said that 60% of employee turnover issues and jobs today and ten years ago were attitude driven. 60%. Our divorce rate around the world is running somewhere close to 55 to 60% today on a first marriage, 75% on second marriages. Will the divorce rate in companies and that's what a turnover in a company is, is a company divorce and a divorce rate and a marriage are all attitude driven. 60% of all breakups, corporate or individual, are breakups between mom and dad, and children are 60% or more tied to attitude. So one of the things we focus on and as a company is we can either try to help you with this model, with your marriage, or with your company hiring the right person or somebody marrying the right person. Before my daughters got married, I was considered the fucker on steroids. If you remember the movie, I had all of my son in laws or people dating my daughters take my three minute survey. If I didn't, if I didn't like your score, you didn't get the data. And if I didn't like your story, you didn't marry up. Now, there are people watching this that are younger generations saying you can't tell me what to do. So what? I let one of my young daughters, my youngest, ignored me, and then she came back three months later and said, I sure wish I to listen to you. So my point is, is I had all of the people in my family that I love that got married go through a pre marriage. So attitude assessment with us with our three minute survey. And then when they were going to get married, we sat down and said, this is what they're going to do. You're not going to like this is what this was going to be, you're going to lie. And so I made sure that we had the right spouse in the right bus seat. In a corporation. What they're doing today that's killing companies is they hire out of three reasons. Would they hire today? They they hire out of fixation. Manipulation or desperation. I call it.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
Say that again. Say that again.

Wayne Nance:
Fixation. Manipulation or desperation. That's the way companies hire today around the world. 60% of the time they have the wrong person in the wrong job, a wrong. Bussey. That's the stats. Now the 40% that we get in the right bus seat. The question is, does their manager know enough about their attitude to know how to manage them? So we are set up for failure. The way we do things today in our personal, professional lives, because we hire out of desperation. Desperation is I just need somebody in this job and I got to have somebody. Or I've been wanting to get married and I'm running out of time. Oc Fixation is I think you're cool. I met you. I've had a couple of interviews with you or a couple of dates with you. You're cool. You remind me of me. You really get me, you know, finally somebody gets me. And now I'm fixated on you. And then there is manipulation. A friend says you should marry this person, or a friend says you should hire this person. They've been really good at their last ten jobs, and they're one of my best friends. You're going to love them. And so are those good reasons to hire or marry somebody? Well, I want you to know together that we do that not just in the U.S., because my books and to other languages, we do it around the world. And we keep having a 60% failure. So what we do in real life is very simple. We developed a survey. It takes 3 minutes. I'll tell you which job. You tell me a job description. We tell you which one they feel you want to get married. I'll tell you if they're compatible with your attitude. Now, we're not always right. I mean, we're not God and we're not trying to always be right. But at the end of the day. Our stats tell us after working with the Army seven years working on violence, research and violence people. People that had addictions of different kinds. Bad leadership. The army came back after we train 52 people that were military officers. They told us we were 92% accurate in our accuracy.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
Wow.

Wayne Nance:
So what I say to people is we don't have all the answers. But if you want the right person in your life, personally or corporately, with a chance of about 90% accuracy, we'd like for you to talk about us with the previous survey.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
Wayne, what I'm hearing you say is with a three minute survey, people are an open book if you know how to read it.

Wayne Nance:
We know immediately a minimum of 30 pages of information about them. And we have 15 measurements that we do a 1 to 5 numeric score so that we can identify their weaknesses so we know how to train them to help them. Our assessment is not to belittle anybody or criticize or judge people. It's to say, okay, we got 15 criteria that we measure and now we see you score one or two or three. In some areas you need to be better. Then when we put you through the 91 day program, we focus on those areas of your attitude. Does that make sense?

Brigitta Hoeferle:
Totally. Now, I know that there are people out there. And by the way, big shout out to John Terry who left the beautiful comment. A very rare interview with the founder, which is Wayne ends right here in the Success Pattern Show, the founder of real life management and how he turned his personal failures into a program to help other people. And that is true leverage right there. Wayne, so thank you for sharing that with us. John and John was on the show a few weeks ago with us and because of John, you are here. So that's how it works. I love that.

Wayne Nance:
I appreciate you and John for doing it.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
Absolutely. Because you have something that other people again, there's that leverage, other people and legacy want to know, need to know and need to use. And as I recall, you brought a gift.

Wayne Nance:
Yes.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
The gift is.

Wayne Nance:
Go ahead.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
The gift is the complimentary copy of your three minute survey. Yes. Tell us more. What do people need to do? Walk us through when they click on the real life management dotcom link.

Wayne Nance:
Well, as you know, I'm technology challenge. So if I can do this, I know they can do it. They can go on their phone or their computer if they're late at night and bored and they just put in real life management dotcom real life management dot com and it's going to pop up our site. And really quick there's a little button that says three minute survey click here, they click, they're in and within 3 minutes they're done. We capture the score and we send them a complimentary report.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
So real life management once once you have taken your attitude MRI, this is not and I want to I want to piggyback on what Wayne said earlier. This is not a personality assessment. This is an attitude MRI. I love this so much. I think that is great. And I think each and everyone, first of all, needs an attitude check once in a while. And second of all, needs to know how can I how is my attitude serving me and how is it not serving me? And how can I be better and and evaluate and take inventory? Am I on the right track? What can I do better?

Wayne Nance:
So let me interrupt you. Go ahead.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
Go ahead.

Wayne Nance:
So we're going to give them a summary. It's an overview. And then if they want more in-depth information, we have several more in-depth reports that they can have access to. But I certainly encourage everybody to go there, check out the site, look around what we're doing. And I think the point I want to drive home today is that I'm a guy who's failed in just about everything that your viewers have struggled with and spent years trying to help people with those issues. And it's okay to have those problems. It's just not okay not to try to work on it.

Brigitta Hoeferle:
Boom. That's it. And if we hadn't heard nothing else today, that would have been gold. Wayne, thank you for being here on the show. Thank you for making time. Thank you for working through the challenges. I appreciate you. I thank you for bringing real life management and big shout out to John Terry for carrying the torch there as well. Guys, real life management, dotcom. Go there now. Take your three minute survey. Thank you, Wayne, for taking the time. And I'm going to leave you all with the a short excerpt of Paul Simon's song Patterns. My eyes can dimly see the pattern of my life and the puzzle that is me. From the moment of my birth to the instant of my death, there are patterns I must follow, just as I must breathe each breath. My life is made of patterns. And now I add to that. Be aware of them so you can be a better person in your personal and in your business life. Until next week. Thank you, Wayne. Thanks, everyone. Tune in again next week, 430 Eastern Time. Chow. Thank you for tuning in to the Success Pattern Show at www.TheSuccessPatternsShowcase.com My name is Brigitta Hoeferle.

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